If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time you know that I'm undergoing a personal experiment this summer. Our family bought a subscription to an all-natural, local vegetable farm and have been reaping (ha-ha!) the benefits of home-grown produce all summer long. You can read all about it here, here, and here. Anyway, it's been awesome. I feel healthier, I eat better, and as a result my family does too. It's a win-win situation.
But as I was chowing down my yummy lunch yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder how (or if?) this is changing my eating habits.
I love macaroni and cheese. I know, I know, it's nutritional suicide. But I can't help it: I'm gaga over the warm, gooey, cheesy macaroni perfection... Mmmmm. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. Usually I slice a few hot dogs in my mac n' cheese. I repeat: Mmmmm. Quasi-meaty goodness. But as the summer has worn on, I've found myself trying to come up with creative ways to finish the 3/4 bushel box of veggies I pick up every week. The search has resulted in some interesting combos, like replacing my Oscar Meyer stir-in with something a little more figure-friendly: Vegetables.
I slice, dice or chop two cups of whatever veggies I have on hand, steam them in a saucepan with a little water, and add them to my finished mac n' cheese. Call me redneck, but it's culinary heaven. I can't think of anything I'd rather have on a Thursday afternoon.
And yet, I can't help wondering if my healthy choice (vegetables) and my not-so-healthy choice (mac n' cheese) work to cancel each other out. It's a bit of a depressing thought.
Sadly, I don't think my diet is the only place where a right doesn't cancel out a wrong. I've been thinking lately about the choices I make--the way that I try to sprinkle a little good on something that I know is not healthy for me and proclaim it A-OK. Don't we all do that? We schedule a much-needed coffee date with a friend (a good thing!), but then spend the whole time complaining and gossiping (uh, not so good). We decide to work out, eat better, and take care of ourselves, but quickly fall prey to obsession and vanity. We actually succeed in scheduling devotional time into our hectic day, but do it with a spirit of legalism and superiority. Maybe you're all scratching your heads... Am I the only one who does this?
Anyway, I don't want to downplay the positive changes that are continually reshaping me. Nor do I want to get bogged down in unrealistic expectations. After all, even a baby step is a step. But I do want to be a strong enough person to realize that I will never arrive. Life will always be a journey, a long obedience in the same direction. It makes me want to keep trying. To hope for more... Like maybe the vegetables minus the mac n' cheese every once in a while.