Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Birds and the... Fish?

Our oldest son is four years old and I have to admit: "the talk" has never even crossed my mind. He's a preschooler for heaven's sake! But, sadly, they do grow up way too fast, and I learned this morning that my husband and I need to be better prepared. For your reading pleasure, our family breakfast conversation:

Setting: In the kitchen at the bar. On one end of the counter is a new ten-gallon fish tank with only five survivors from the original cast of nine. Aaron and Nicole (aka: Daddy and Mommy) are chatting over a cup of coffee. Big Boy is eating his fourth slice of toast and has chocolate sprinkles (a Dutch breakfast treat--don't worry, we made him eat eggs, apple, and peanut butter toast before breaking out the sprinkles) from ear to ear. Baby is putting squares of peanut butter toast in his hair.

Nicole: Hey, look at that! I think our tiger barbs are getting a little friendly.

Aaron: That would explain why the big one has been so aggresive chasing the other fish away. Mimicking amorous male fish: 'Can't a guy get a little alone time with his lady?'

Nicole: Laughs. Look, the shark is jealous. Mimicking the shark: 'You never hang out with the guys anymore! She's got you wrapped around her little fin...'

Aaron: You know, if they do mate, the other fish will probably eat the eggs. Do tiger barbs lay eggs?

Big Boy: What's mate?

Aaron and Nicole exchange meaningful glances.

Nicole: Ahem. Why don't you field this one daddy?

Aaron: Well, Sweetie, that mommy and daddy fish love each other very much and I think they would like to make some baby fish.

Nicole: Aghast. I think you could have avoided this conversation entirely by saying that they were just snuggling.

Aaron: Oh.

Big Boy: How do they make baby fish?

Nicole: Knew that was coming. Reaches over to Baby and begins to tickle his knees.

Baby: Laughs hysterically.

Nicole: Sorry honey, mommy can't hear you.

Baby: Continues to giggle.

Aaron: Begins to tickle Big Boy, too. All-out tickle fest ensues. Topic of "mating" is happily forgotten. Until next time...

Oh my goodness, that was close. Any suggestions/help/advice for round two? I know my son--he won't forget! Can't I just freeze him at this sweet little age???


  1. There are several Christian resources out there, check out the bookstore...and remember to impress abstinence and fidelity on your young one's impressionable mind. And don't be afraid of these conversations, God created us for this, it is a beautiful thing within his paramenters.

  2. I can't offer any advice, but I did find the story quite entertaining!