Friday, March 5, 2010

Kid Chaos Theory

My oldest son has his last hockey tournament of the season this weekend. Since it's in a town that's over an hour away, my husband (who is also the Mini-Mite team coach) graciously offered to take the boys (both of them!) and spend the night in a hotel. What am I supposed to do in the house all by myself? Write. Boo. Don't get me wrong, I love writing. But I LOVE spending time with my boys.

All the same, tonight I buckled down and got lots done. My dangling carrot? The opportunity to join them tomorow for the last two games and an extra night in a hotel with a swim park. Yippee! Life with kids is so much fun...

That is, until you realize that all children abide by the chaos theory. You won't find this definition in a book, but I'm convinced it's real. And it goes something like this: any child (of any age, race, background, or persuasion), when confronted with a situation that is new, unexpected, bewildering, exciting, or unprecedented, will inevitably lose control of their sweet little minds/bodies/senses/emotions and (either intentionally or unintentionally) make their parents crazy by thinking/saying/doing things that they would not normally think/say/do. Any parents out there agree with me?

I think Aaron (my poor, poor hubby) is a firm believer in our kid chaos theory tonight...

After swimming (i.e. half-drowning) in the pool for a couple of hours this afternoon, Aaron got the boys ready for the hockey game and took them out for supper. Their conversation (as relayed to me):

Eldest: I don't feel so good.

Aaron: It's probably because you're hungry.

Eldest: No, my tummy really hurts.

Aaron: I bet it's because you drank too much pool water.

Eldest: Gagging...

Aaron: Realizing that this is serious... Come on! We gotta get to the bathroom!

Eldest: I can't make it to the bathroom!

Aaron grabs our son and ushers him out the door where he throws up in the snow as diners stream into the restaurant. Shockingly, no one goes back to their cars and leaves. I would have.

Aaron: Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry. Let's go get you cleaned up. Wait a sec--where's your brother???

Aaron rushes our eldest to the bathroom and leaves him there while he hurries back to the table to find our youngest son (who just so happens to be three). The little one is gone. Running around the restaurant like a crazy person, Aaron hunts for said little one until someone points out that there is an adorable boy wandering around the parking lot. Turns out, he's ours. He was just looking for his daddy and brother.

Safely back at the hotel...

Aaron: Guess we'd better go home, huh? Mommy will take good care of you...

Eldest: Are you kidding? I have a hockey game to play!

Aaron: But you're sick!

Eldest: I have to play. I'm Canadian.

Since Aaron was the coach, he agreed to at least give the game a try. Our son got suited up and hit the ice full-tilt. He scored two goals, assisted in three more, and all around played his little heart out.

All while I lounged on the couch under a blanket trying to spin a pretty phrase...

Remind me never to take my kids anywhere by myself.

1 comment:

  1. That is too funny! That completely explains why when your son walked in the locker room he looked at the other coach and said "I'm Canadian. I'm sick. I'm gonna play hockey!" I love it! (also explains the frazzled look on your hubby's face as he came into the arena) Glad you were able to get some writing done!