Cancelled

So after all the hoopla and melodrama of making the decision to get Lasik surgery, I've changed my mind. Yup, you read that right, the surgery is off. I cancelled it five minutes ago and I have to admit, I feel pretty good about it. Crazy, eh?

I suppose the biggest reason for my change of heart is the shift in perspective that happens when a much agonized over decision becomes a reality instead of merely a possibility. When I was only thinking about Lasik, the idea of removing a thin cross-section of my cornea wasn't alarming. But when I had the surgery date scheduled, it seemed more like an amputation to me. When I was only thinking about Lasik, the 95% success rate sounded high. But when I had a surgery date scheduled, I suddenly realized that I could be one of the 5%. Could I live with halos? Eye pain? Chronic dry eye syndrome? Poor night vision? Would I be happy if the surgery was only a little successful? What if I still had to wear glasses (albeit, with much thinner lenses)? What if my eyes regressed and I ended up back in glasses after 3, 4, or 5 years anyway?

Okay, so I'm probably a little nuts. A little over-analytical. But I know now that I can't do it, no matter how good it sounds. Maybe I need more time to think about it. Or maybe I'll sport contacts and trendy glasses for the rest of my life. Either way, I'm feeling pretty grateful right now for the gift of vision. Even if it comes packaged with wire frames and fat bottles of overpriced contact solution.