Saturday, March 17, 2007

A Writing Journal II

April 4, 2006
On my way to Vancouver for my Canadian citizenship exam. In the Minneapolis airport.

I’ve devoured the first third of “Walking on Water” by Madeleine L’ Engle and was so filled to overflowing that I all but ran off the plane in Minneapolis and scooped up the first journal I could find. Sigh. An outlet. I want, I need, a place to respond as I read through this book--it is articulating things that have been taking slow shape in my mind for a very long time.

Why God? Why have you given me this ache to write? Why have you orchestrated an opening to publication? Why me? Why now? Or, more accurately, maybe I should ask: What do you want from me? And, oh Loving Eternal, how do I do it?

Lord, I want to be faithful, I want to be a reflection of you. Of truth. How can I do that? And, how can I do that without falling prey to my own selfish ambitions? Oh I am so weak and human! But I want to be more than I am, I want to be a servant to the gift that I have been given. Prayer, reflection, introspection, times of quiet… I hope to clear a path.

Listen to the silence.
Stay open to the voice of the Spirit.
Slow me down, Lord.

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