Nicole Baart

Giveaway on my new blog!

2010-12-08T16:23:00.000-06:00

I'm hosting another big giveaway on my new blog! If you're still coming to this site, you're at the wrong place. I've moved! Hate to make you change your bookmark, but I promise I'll stay put now. :)

Still here...?

2010-12-02T07:55:00.000-06:00

In case you missed yesterday's post, I am no longer blogging at this internet address! Sad, I know! But the blog isn't dead, it has just moved... Please join me at: Girls in White. You can read about my vision for this blog here, and browse my new website here.

I don't want to leave anyone behind, so I'll keep posting redirection posts for a few more days at least (especially since I noticed I've gotten some new followers in the last couple of days). I'm so sorry to make you hop around! We'll be all settled soon.

Warmly,
Nicole

New Site!

2010-12-01T08:00:00.008-06:00

Girls in White

It's a done deal, people. NicoleBaart.com is officially brand-new, redesigned, and ready for the world. And my blog has a snazzy new location. Please, please come and check it out! I'm so excited! It feels like my birthday! If nothing else, stop by to check out the giveaway. All you have to do is CLICK HERE. Hope to see you there!

Warmly,
Nicole

PS - I promise not to populate my posts with so many exclamation marks on my new blog. I'm just a little excited today! :) So there! And there!!!

I'm moving!

2010-11-29T08:00:00.001-06:00

I won't lie. It hurts my heart a little to move this blog. But I'm a sentimental girl, and I tend to get weepy over things that need not be wept about. Like websites. Or blogs. So I won't lie to you--my eyes glaze just the tiniest bit when I think about moving this internet home to another address. Will it ever have the same, homey feel? Will my readers and friends follow me or forget about me? Will this be a prelude to a new, exciting season or will I regret the move?

Okay, now I'm getting downright melodramatic. It's a URL address for pity's sake. But I do want to give you time to prepare so that you don't just show up here on Wednesday and find a cold wind blowing through the pixels of my bloggity-blog. Did you catch that? The big moving day is Wednesday, December 1. When you come back in two days, there will be a link to a new blog, a new site, and the first of three big giveaways. I'm hoping to brighten your Christmas season just a little. Consider it a small way that I can say "thank you" for reading. Thanks for the encouragement, the connection, the many ways that we have been able to uphold each other. It's been awesome. And it's my hope that it'll only get better.

Hope you're enjoying the last few days of November! 2010 is drawing to a close...

Hugs,
Nicole

Preparations...

2010-11-27T12:14:00.000-06:00

Happy Saturday! (The day after Black Friday? Cyber-Monday Eve Eve? I can't keep up with all these so-called holidays.)

I'm in the middle of putting up my Christmas tree and trying to clean my house (always a fun endeavor), but I wanted to quick pop in and start getting you all geared up for December. It's just around the corner, you know! I'm not really into the whole commercialized Christmas thing, and my holiday season usually tends to be a little slow. Maybe even just smidge subdued. But this year I have a bunch of things all piling up at once and I'm going to have to go with a more upbeat Advent... My hubby is coming home from two weeks in Liberia, we have a barrage of parties and holiday events on the calendar, I'm launching a new website, preparing for a book release (and a deadline), and making the switch from Blogger to WordPress. Yup, my blog is on the move. It was a tough decision for me to make (I'm not much of a techie and haven't really had a problem with Blogger), but it seemed like the right thing to do as so many other things in my writing world are changing (from website to publishing house to vision).

Sooo... As of December 1, I will no longer be blogging here. :( Sad, isn't it? In fact, I'll be making a clean cut and starting fresh--though I will archive this blog and make it readily accessible from my new site. That way you can still find my Apple Pudding recipe if you need to. (Haven't tried it yet? Oh, you're missing out!)

In an effort to make the move fun, I'm going to be giving away three separate holiday packages on my blog. The first package will feature all of my books, including Beneath the Night Tree (ARC copy), and a sneak peek of the first chapter of my new book, Far From Here. For good measure I'll be tossing in a bag of my favorite creme de menthe chocolates and some bubble bath just for fun. The second package will be a library collection of four wonderful books (Susan Meissner's Lady in Waiting, Inspy Award nominated Lucky Baby by Meredith Efken, the fun and frothy Split Ends by Kristen Billerbeck, and my own The Moment Between.) You'll get a historical, a contemporary story with a little magical surrealism, a chick-lit romp, and something a bit more literary. Oh, and some chocolates and bubble bath. The final package will be all about awareness and include a pair of t-shirts from our non-profit, One Body One Hope, some of our homemade goat milk soaps, and a copy of the book One Million Arrows: Raising Your Children to Change the World by Julie Ferwerda. And, of course, chocolates and bubble bath.

Stay tuned! I'm excited to launch my new site and new blog and I truly hope that you will join me. I have loved getting to know you through our discussions and interactions, and I hope that we can continue in a new (more conversational) format.

Thanks so much for reading!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T08:00:00.001-06:00

I'm too exhausted to be creative and come up with some snappy Thanksgiving post. I ain't got no snap right now. However, I do have an eye twitch. Does that count? Anyway, a few of the things I'm thankful for...

-Two amazing college students who came over to my home the other day and just plain blessed me. Being a single mom right now is so hard, and they eased the burden by playing with my kids, vacuuming my house, and engaging in adult conversation with me. I showered. It was bliss.

-Dark chocolate. Oh, and creme de menthe chocolate, too. Mmmmm...

-My grandma. Not only is she an amazing woman of God, she has a beautiful Dutch work ethic. This fall she cleaned my windows, shampooed my carpet, and varnished some of my weather-beaten woodwork. I sound like a slave-driver, don't I? You gotta believe me--she begged to do it! Oh, how I love you, Grandma.

-Modern medicine. As a dear friend undergoes cancer treatment today, I'm thankful for developments in radiation, chemotherapy, and all the other medicines used to treat this horrible disease. I'm praying for a cure.

-Bargain bin wine at Fareway.

-The fact that I get to write for a living. Sometimes I get lost in the deadlines and business end of things (never mind marketing and publicity--two things I hate), but I love my job. Love, love, love it. I feel so blessed.

-Good books. Most notably (or most recently?): The Likeness, The Historian, Stieg Larsson's trilogy, and Neverwhere.

-All the usual stuff that everyone always says but also always means with all their heart and soul: family, friends, warm clothes, a roof over my head, food in abundance... and the list goes on.

Your turn: What are you thankful for?

PS - I'm thankful for YOU! So much so that I'm giving away an Advanced Reader Copy of Beneath the Night Tree on my Facebook author page. All you have to do is follow the link and leave a comment.

PSS - Do you know why I chose the photo above to be my Thanksgiving graphic? Brownie points and bragging rights if you do!

You know you're a mom if...

2010-11-22T11:42:00.000-06:00

After a long and beautiful (sunny and warm) autumn, winter has finally hit the midwest. We woke up this morning to a wonderful world of ice--and no school. Apparently the roads are better suited for ice-skating than driving. Anyway, in addition to my three boys, I'm watching a friend's kids this morning--and marveling at the amazing women who have five or more kids. Kudos to you! My mommy hat is off to you.

So far this morning we've baked muffins, read books, played Playmobil, made a train, danced to Go Fish, and fed our stuffed animals a morning snack (and the kids, too!). Right now I'm enjoying a little break as we're all cuddled on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Do you know the hot dog dance? You should. It would enrich your life in ways you can only begin to imagine. ;)

In case you haven't already picked this up, I've got motherhood on my mind today. And thanks to The Mom Song by Go Fish, I'm thinking about all the things that motherhood is. So, this is my version.

You know you're a mom if...

-Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy is a part of your everyday vocabulary.

-The "S" word and "F" word are banned in your home. Of course, the "S" word is "stupid" and the "F" word is "fart."

-You sometimes go an entire day without peering once into a mirror. And when you do, it's downright scary.

-A shower is a mini-vacation.

-You're so exhausted you could sleep through a fire alarm, but if your infant so much as rolls over in his crib, you're wide awake and at his side in two seconds flat.

-You spend more time talking about the frequency, consistency, and ease with which your child goes poo than any other topic of conversation in your repertoire.

-You get more hugs, kisses, snuggles, and love in one day than all the years before you became a parent combined.

-You wouldn't trade it (all of it--the moments when they're sleeping like angels and the ones when you wish a traveling band of gypsies was wandering past your front door) for anything.

Your turn! Finish the sentence: You know you're a mom if....

Story-telling

2010-11-19T09:41:00.000-06:00

People write for a thousand different reasons. But I believe that when we as storytellers distill everything down, we can all say that we write (tell stories) for the same basic reason: passion. We're passionate about our characters or the message or the words themselves. We want to say something. We want to be heard. We feel something fervently and life just can't go on until we share.

This little sweetheart knows how to spin a story. And it's obvious that she's pretty passionate about her subject matter. I hope this makes you smile today.

The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Question for you: What sparks your passion???

Toot-toot!

2010-11-17T08:00:00.004-06:00

No, I'm not gaseous. This is me tooting the horn of some pretty amazing people. They're talented, creative, and just plain wonderful. And I think you should know about them.

Randy Ingermanson is a "deranged physicist and award winning author." He's brilliant and artistic, and he's one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. I deeply respect him. And I'm excited to let you all know that Randy's best-selling book, Writing Fiction for Dummies, is a FREE Kindle download right now. Got an e-reader? Wanna write a book? Go download it now!

I was first introduced to Laurell's music via a Facebook link. One of my former students and his wife own an agency called Streetlight Creative that produced one of her music videos. Anyway, I followed the link and found I really love her music. It's bright, happy pop for the most part, but her vocals have a certain folksy feel that I'm a sucker for. What can I say? Gotta love Canadian music. And while I'm at it, let me toot the horn of Adrian and Heidi, the brains behind Streetlight Creative. Wow, are they ever amazing. I bet it was the influence of their high school English teacher. ;)

The guys behind Brand New Graphics are a duo of brilliant, market-saavy men who take your web-design needs seriously. They're the masterminds of my current website, and they're in the process of redesigning NicoleBaart.com. Not an easy task, let me tell you. It's hard to create a one-dimensional website that embodies everything you are and hope to be, but Jamin and Brady work hard to make that a reality. Need a website? I can't think of a better place to go.

Last but not least, let me introduce you to the board of One Body One Hope. Well, some of the board members anyway. This is an exciting week for OBOH because our Capital Campaign is finally coming to a thrilling conclusion. Our container is in Monrovia, our team leaders will be landing in Africa tonight, and the rest of the crew leaves on Saturday. Many people both on our board and beyond have been working tirelessly this past year to raise $60,000 and prepare Christ Our Hope orphanage for a new dormitory, a drinkable water line, a new latrine, a library, steel windows and doors, and much, much more. Would you take a moment to say a prayer for our team and the kids at Christ Our Hope? God is moving in big, big ways and it just takes my breath away to see it all coming together.

Your turn: Whose horn do you want to toot today? Everyone deserves a little woot-woot from time to time. :)

PS - Want to win one of the One Body One Hope t-shirts you can see in the photo above? Well, I feel like giving some away! Just go to our blog and become a new follower. You will be automatically entered in a drawing for a t-shirt. They have our logo on the front and a really cool Spend Yourself graphic on the back. I'll be drawing two names one week from today (next Wednesday). Tell your friends!

Far From Here

2010-11-15T13:48:00.000-06:00

So I'm working on my sixth book. Yup, you read that right. My fourth book, Beneath the Night Tree, will hit stores in the new year. And my fifth book, a quasi-mystery called Sleeping in Eden, is cooling its heels awaiting the completion and publication of the manuscript I'm currently working on. I feel like I have my little fingers in a bunch of different pots right now. But only one book is consuming my every waking minute (and much of my nighttime dreams as well).

Far From Here is a story that began with a picture. When I was a little girl my dad kept a photograph in his bedroom of a young man in front of an airplane. He's a handsome guy with longish, dark hair and a dimpled half-smile. He's standing almost shyly in front of a small red and white aircraft, the glint in his eyes at once awe-filled and somehow tinged with disbelief. He seems very happy (and a little surprised) to be exactly where he is: standing on a tarmac in some tiny Alaskan town.

Apparently, I met him once. I was a couple of days old and my dad's best friend stopped in to hold the baby (me) and say congratulations. Then he took off for Alaska where he had just accepted a job as a bush pilot. On his first ever solo flight, he disappeared out of Kotzebue and was never seen again.

Doesn't that just send a shiver down your spine? Me, too. I think it's so true what they say: truth is stranger than fiction. And though I never, never want to take advantage of anyone's pain or loss, I can't help but see stories wherever I look: in relationships, tragedies, joys, and even the mundanities of life. So that dog-eared, much beloved photograph was a starting point for me, a launchpad for my next book, Far From Here. It really has nothing at all to do with my dad's best friend, but my imagination was sparked, and this book has been weaving itself in my mind for over a decade. I can't wait to tell you more about it. Stop back later this week as I share my slant on a story of love and loss.

Your turn: What life event from your own history could you see turning into a book or movie? I'd love to hear where you draw inspiration!

Random Thoughts...

2010-11-10T08:08:00.000-06:00

I'm in a weird mood, so you're stuck with a bizarre rant today. Remember Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey? Any SNL fans out there? Well, consider this my take on his surreal one-liners. Without further ado, random thoughts, fears, observations, trivialities, and musings...

- Cryptic Facebook status updates suck.

- I love British slang. Bollucks, codswallop, and whinge... scrummy and snookered and twee, oh my!

- Believe it or not, Shel Silverstein is even funnier as a parent. My kids adore him, but for me it's true love.

- "Getting in shape" is a slippery, impossible thing that ranks down there with "achieving self-actualization." Sorry, never gonna happen.

- I'm not sure life would be worth living without chocolate. And steak and warm cookies and beer.

- I think my children are smarter than me. I still add on my fingers...

- I don't doubt God, but sometimes I doubt his love for me.

- Everyone needs a little silence in their day. Five minutes without background noise--no television, radio, cell phone, chatter, the rhythmic clicking of your fingernails on the keyboard... Just stillness.

Your turn. What random thought is stuck in your craw today?

A Million Miles: The End!

2010-11-08T10:08:00.000-06:00

It's Monday, Monday, Monday... And I'm loving it. I'm one of those strange people that actually digs Monday. It's a fresh start, a new beginning, a chance once more to get one week right. Granted, I've never achieved that goal yet, but I'm always up for giving it another shot. This week feels clean and bright and full of possibility. It might have something to do with the forecast for today: 70 degrees in November, thank you very much.

Anyway, it seems fitting on such a lovely morning to finally draw our A Million Miles in a Thousand Years discussion to a close. It's been a fun journey, and I've enjoyed your participation so much. Some of those early posts logged comments worthy of publication. Your stories and heartfelt musings were a beautiful thing to behold. But it's time to lay this baby to rest.

Instead of directly discussing the final chapters, I want to share a bit of what I've gleaned from the past months of digging deep into this book. We've already talked about so many things, and I'm sure some of wisdom that I'm taking from Miller's words are the result of our own wrestlings instead of his penned insight. Either way, I truly believe I can say this book changed the way I look at my life. I'm so grateful for that.

So, what have I taken from this book, this discussion, this period of wrestling with life and what it means to live abundantly? I've learned that the little things matter: unexpected snowfalls, conversations with strangers, a shared plate of fruit. I've discovered that if I want to live a meaningful life, all I really need to do is be present for it--to not forsake people for my favorite television show, or moments with my children for a couple extra minutes checking Facebook. I believe a meaningful life is in the details, in surprising yourself, saying "yes" when you want to say "no," being kind, opening your heart and your life and your home. It's about allowing yourself to experience every day with the sort of wide-eyed awe of a child, to laugh when God sings over you and take delight in the unexpected. And when life hurts, when it's hard and miserable and broken, I think you have to embrace that, too. Press it tight against you and hold with all you've got until you push through to the other side where you can accept that the light is brighter because of the darkness around it. I think most of all I learned that I don't have to make my life meaningful--it's already full of significance--all I have to do is open my eyes.

How about you? What have you ultimately taken away from this book? Any parting words or wisdom? Also, would you be interested in doing something like this again? Any suggestions for books or other ideas you'd like to throw out there for conversation? I really enjoyed doing this and would be open to doing it again. Thanks for reading!

E-Books vs. The Real Deal

2010-11-03T15:32:00.000-05:00

Hi, all. I'm conducting a little online survey. My interest is both personal and professional... I have an idea rolling around in my head that I'd like to explore a bit with you. This is the first step. Would you be so kind as to take a moment and answer the following question?

Do you have a Nook, Kindle, or other e-book reader? Do you like it?

And for those of you who are dyed in the wool paper book fans (like me!), here's a site you might get a kick out of. Thanks to Sherry for providing the link. Too funny!

This is a test...

2010-11-01T14:44:00.000-05:00

...of the emergency broadcast system. The Nicole Baart Blogger emergency broadcast system. Apparently it doesn't work because nothing was broadcast here while I was in emergency mode. System failure.

Oh, well. Sorry I've been absent. Last week was one of the hardest I've ever experienced. No, I can't really tell you about it; it's not my story to tell. But I cried more tears than I thought possible, and there was honestly a day when I believed, "We won't get over this. We will never get over this." And you know what? We won't. It'll always, always be with us, but I am starting to feel in tiny glimmers that we just might be better people on the other side. Softer, more compassionate. Capable of deeper love.

Anyway, thanks for being patient with me as I cried myself to sleep and ignored my computer for a week straight. I'm getting back into the swing of things. Slowly. Stay tuned this week for our final Million Miles post and some more thoughts on hurt and waiting and hope. It's there, isn't it? I have to believe that it is...

A Million Miles: Chapters 29-31

2010-10-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, so there is such a thing as beating a dead horse. I think our little Donald Miller pony is breathing his last. It's been a fantastic discussion and I have loved your contributions, but I've been feeling for a while now that things are getting repetitive. I didn't notice that the first time I read the book...? Maybe I was so enthralled with the overall message that I missed the redundancy. Either way, I still believe it's an awesome book, and I'm so grateful that you've joined me in walking through it. Your insights have added immeasurable depth and wisdom to the ongoing conversation.

But we can't just stop. So here's what we're going to do. Today we'll discuss three more chapters just like we've always done, and then next Monday we'll finish the book in one fell swoop. I don't know how many chapters that gives us to finish, but if you're reading along, polish off the book for next Monday.

So, something fresh and new out of the book...

Chapter 30 is called Great Stories Have Memorable Scenes. Why yes they do. Right now I'm completely enmeshed in a story that has been brewing in my mind since I was a teenager. No joke. It's so exciting to finally be able to write this book! Anyway, one of the things that I'm actively working on is creating taut, unforgettable scenes. You know the ones, the sort of scene that keeps you up reading just one more chapter. And then, just one more.

Miller says: "I don't think memorable scenes help a story make sense. Other principles accomplish that. What memorable scenes do is punctuate the existing rise and fall of the narrative." I totally agree. The underlying action of my book will go on with or without the sorts of scenes that make my readers hold their breaths. But, oh, what would a book be without them? (Or a movie, a play... your life?)

I believe heart and soul that memorable scenes happen every day--it's just a matter of taking the time to acknowledge them. Sunday afternoon I took a long, hard walk all by myself. It was kind of dark and drizzly, and I was utterly alone on the walking trail. I could have been the last person in the world, and I felt exactly that way as I pounded out mile after mile. At first, I was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other that all I really noticed was the cement beneath my feet. But at the top of a little rise I stumbled a bit and slowed enough to notice my surroundings. I happened to be directly beneath a towering sugar maple, a brilliant conflagration of crimson and citron that quite literally glowed against a gunmetal sky. I hadn't been praying or even really thinking about much of anything, but all at once it was like I came face to face with God, and from behind his back he produced the most amazing bouquet. Just for me. I stood rooted to the spot, grinning and tearing up at the same time, and feeling like this was one of those precious moments when I was gifted with the ability to truly realize that God sings over me. Wow. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

Is that scene beneath a maple central to the unfolding of my personal narrative? No. But I wouldn't want to live a story without moments like that. And I don't want to write one without that either. So, here's my question for you: What is one of the most memorable scenes you've ever read/watched/experienced? What makes a scene unforgettable to you? Care to share? I'd love to hear what you have to say on this second-to-last discussion on A Million Miles in a Thousand Years!

Grace

2010-10-22T09:57:00.000-05:00

Though I love being an author, I would definitely say that my motherhood defines me more than any other aspect of my life (well, after being claimed, saved, and sealed as an adopted child of God). Someone once said that being a mom is like giving your heart permission to exist outside of your body, and I could not agree more with that sentiment. Every day when my eldest takes off for school and my preschooler packs his backpack for a morning of playtime and learning, my heart follows them out the door. And when I lay my baby down for a nap, I can almost feel the ache of the distance between us. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I wonder if that's why I sit on the far side of the couch in the living room--the side that is closest to his bedroom. Or why I turn up the monitor so loud I can hear every breath he takes.

However, as much as I love my children, I never quite feel confident as a mom. I fail them so much. Yesterday (after hours of hearing them whine and cry--it must have been a full moon), I yelled at my kids so loud I'm sure the neighbors heard. Actually, I am sure the neighbors heard--they were gardening in their backyard and all our windows were open. Bad mom. And sometimes I'm tired and I just can't handle another "Why?" question. Why do we put gas in the car? Why can't I have a friend over? Why aren't we having something good for supper? Why did you put puppy seeds (translation: poppy seeds) in those muffins? So I put on PBS Kids and plunk them in front of the TV for half an hour. Bad mom. And though I try to feed my children healthy food, teach them good habits, read to them every day, and be Jesus for them in each and every situation, sometimes we have Macaroni & Cheese with hot dogs, I let them burp at the table, we watch Funniest Home Videos, and I fall short, fall short, fall short. Bad mom.

But the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. He takes my meager motherly offerings and infuses them with his own amazing grace in ways that I will never understand. How can I be such a failure of a mom and still continue to watch my children grow in beauty and grace?

This morning my 1st grader was writing in his journal before school. He forgot it on the counter when his carpool showed up in our driveway, and I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to pick it up for him. It was open to a page with this written on it:

God has a plan for me. And I know it. God tolkt (talked) to my dad. And I thank (think?) God will tolk to me. My dad and mom love God.

Oh. My. Goodness. Wow. That's better than hitting #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. Better than a trip around the world or a million dollars. Better than... well, anything. Thank you, Lord, for moving in wonderful, mysterious ways. And thanks for whispering your grace into my children's hearts even when I yell.

Keepin' it real...

2010-10-20T08:29:00.001-05:00

For those of you who think being an author is all fame and fortune (HA!), here's a sampling of some of the reviews, emails, and conversations that have kept me humble.

* * * *

"An intriguing beginning, but the plot soon sinks into predictability and the characters become more shallow and underdeveloped as the story progresses."

A conversation:

Her: "How much did you have to pay the publishing house?"

Me: "Actually, they paid me."

Her: "Well, I know you might get royalties and stuff, but how much did you have to pay to get your book printed? Like, a couple thousand dollars?"

Me: "No, they paid me."

Her: "I don't think you understand my question."

"Boring and depressing."

"Your main character (Julia) has no integrity. I felt nothing for her."

"I bought your book because one reviewer compared you to Lisa Samson. You are nothing like Lisa Samson." (Well, I know that! Who could compare?)

"I will never read another one of your books."

* * * *

Ouch! And yet, I can't help laughing. Don't get me wrong, I didn't always laugh... In fact, some of the above comments brought me to tears and made me think I should quit this writing gig altogether. But hey, maybe three years in the business (my first book came out in the fall of 2007!) has toughened me up a bit. Or helped me to realize that not everyone is going to love what I do. But I love doing it, and as long as they'll keep publishing me I'll keep writing!

And for those of you who are aspiring writers, start toughening up that elephant skin! We can compare bad reviews someday. :)

A Million Miles: Chapters 26-28

2010-10-18T20:47:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or were the chapters for today a bit heavy? Okay, a lot heavy. Miller talked about conflict and pain and thoughts of suicide and understanding that our life stories are not about us. Yikes. Heady stuff. And yet so true; so important for us to understand even if the knowledge comes at a high cost.

These chapters are timely for me today. I found out this afternoon that one of my best friends is about to embark on a life-changing crossing. I wept for her this afternoon. I felt hurt and cheated and asked God why, and then I got good and angry. The sort of angry that's helpful--the sort that screams, "You're gonna kick this thing, and I'll be by your side the whole way." I clung to Miller's words in chapter 27: "There is no conflict man (woman) can endure that will not produce a blessing." We will wring a blessing out of this trial if we need to wrestle it from God like Jacob beneath the tree.

And I'm afraid that's all I've got for you today. I'm a bit raw. But I'd love to hear any words of encouragement you have. How do you find joy and blessing in trials? Or do you think that sort of understanding can only come after you've crossed to the other side?

Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

2010-10-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

I got a lot of responses about my cookie photo from Wednesday, so I thought I'd post the recipe. They're pretty yummy! Give half the batch away unless you want to eat them all yourself. :)

Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

4 tbsp. butter

4 tbsp. butter flavored shortening

3 oz. baker’s chocolate, melted
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

3/4 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

2 cups flour

2 cups chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In large bowl cream butter, shortening, sugars, and chocolate until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla. Beat well. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Stir into butter mixture until well blended. Mix in chocolate chips. Drop by teaspoonful on ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake for 8-10 minutes or until just set.

Home is where...

2010-10-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, the Baart family has recently moved into a new house. I love it, truly I do. But there's a part of me that believes deep down that a house cannot be a home until it has a history. I still wake up in the morning and feel like I'm on a wonderful vacation. I'm in awe of the spacious kitchen, the whirlpool bathtub, the garage where I can actually park and have space to get out of my vehicle. It's fantastic... but it's still becoming home.

I'm a details girl and I love the little things. So this morning I wandered around my house that is yet becoming a home and took some pictures of things that I love--the things that are slowly beginning to transform this space into ours.

Home is where...

my favorite chair invites me to cuddle up...

cookies cool on the counter...

my son's blanket is bathed in sunlight...

my bathtub beckons...

puppy pajamas play on the floor...

Your turn to finish the sentence: Home is where...

A Million Miles: Chapters 23-25

2010-10-11T13:10:00.001-05:00

I know that I've said this before, but one of my absolute favorite stories from this book is contained in the chapters we read for today. In case you haven't read the book, I've just got to recap a bit. Miller and his friends are kayaking up the Jervis Inlet in British Columbia (woot-woot for my second home!), and they come upon a mansion in the wilderness. Turns out it belongs to this amazing guy Bob Goff and his equally amazing family of Christ-lovers, philanthropists, and revolutionaries. They've hosted politicians and dignitaries, and they didn't hesitate to reach out to some sweaty, dirty strangers in kayaks. Wow. My kind of people.

Anyway, I butchered the story (it's so cool, you really do have to read the whole thing) but I want to talk about what I consider to be the heart of it. Though Bob and his family possess many qualities, the one that inspires me the most is their selfless extravagance. Much in the same way that God loves us lavishly, richly, and undeservedly, so do the Goffs give of themselves to friends and foreigners alike. When Miller and his friends show up unexpectedly, Maria offers them plush towels and heaps the table before them with fruit and cheese, crackers and fresh bread. They talk for hours like old friends, and--best of all, I think--they send off Miller and his friends with a memorable farewell. "...to our amazement, we saw all of them, fully dressed with shoes and jackets, take three steps together and jump into the water, coming up and waving and shouting their goodbyes." Isn't that gorgeous? Don't you just love it?

I want to talk today about abundance, about heaping joy and unexpected kindnesses on each other. How beautiful is it when we love lavishly. How like God. Unfortunately, I tend more toward the miserly than the extravagant. I'm a bargain-bin shopper and cling to my Dutch heritage when I go out with friends. Yes, the term "going Dutch" definitely applies to me. But I've been the recipient of wild graces, and I'd love to be the sort of person that loves unsparingly in tangible and intangible ways.

A few ways that people have spoken love over me in extravagance... A friend bought and shared a $50 bottle of wine with me just because. Some mentors of ours opened their vacation homes in Florida and Minnesota simply because they wanted to bless us. Knowing how much it meant to me that I was finally pregnant after five years of waiting and trying, my cousin prepared a gift basket filled with things to pamper both me and the baby. A good friend "borrowed" my children for the day so that I could luxuriate in an afternoon nap. Though we don't buy presents for our anniversary, my husband eschewed that particular tradition this year and bought me a beautiful Pandora bracelet with charms to match all the important dates in our shared history. Wow.

What about you? When was the last time you were "spoiled"? When was the last time you "spoiled" another person just for the sake of showing the depth of your love?

10-10-10

2010-10-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

It's not the 10th today, but that date is on my mind all the same. Guess who's going to be 33 on Sunday? Yes, it hurt to type that number. I almost deleted it. I contemplated lying. But it is what it is... I'm an old woman. Do you remember when you were 20? My twenties are crystal-clear in my mind, and one of the biggest things I recall is the feeling that my life would officially be over the day I turned 30. Women in their thirties have baby hips and mom jeans, dark circles under their eyes and "practical" haircuts. If life is like climbing a mountain, 29 is the peak and everything else is downhill from there.

Whatever. I used to believe that. But guess what? Life just keeps getting better and better.

My early thirties have been marked by a sense of contentment, of peace in my life. For one of the first times ever, I feel like myself. I'm comfortable with who I am and who I still hope to be. My joy comes from outside of my own successes and failures--it's less dependent on circumstances and much more stable. My kids bring me joy. My friends and family. A hot cup of coffee and a cold bowl of ice cream. Clean sheets. Believe it or not, I actually like my laugh lines and the fact that my friend's kids come to me for a quick cuddle and a bit of comfort. I love preparing meals for my family, folding my husband's boxers, and going to bed at 10:00 instead of 2 a.m. But I also adore getting dressed up, discovering a new band, and laughing so hard it hurts. (See the photo above? I was actually laughing so hard I fell down. Pathetic, I know.)

You know, I think I love my thirties. Yup, I do. And 33 is such a nice, whole number. It seems complete somehow. Fitting that I would turn 33 on 10-10-10. This may very well be the best year yet. Happy birthday to all of you who turn thirty-something this year. Or forty-something or eighty-something. And a very happy birthday to those of you who fall below that special line. Enjoy every minute of it. Whatever you do, don't believe it when someone tells you that it doesn't get any better than this. It does.

Extraordinary

2010-10-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling kind of blah the last few days. Not blue, just blah. You know, a little flat, bored, unmotivated. Which is ridiculous because the sun is shining and the sky is clear and perfect. I should be spinning cartwheels all over this gorgeous creation. But I'm not.

My son's chapel theme for this year is "Ordinary People, Extraordinary God." I've been thinking about that this morning, and realizing that my "ordinary" life is starting to feel dull. God forbid. Seriously. My existence (YOUR existence) is extraordinary, and filled with touches of the divine even when we are too apathetic to acknowledge it.

So, in an effort to help myself remember that beauty and wonder exists even in the mundane, I'm going to come up with five things in this morning alone that were ordinary, and yet rare and beautiful. Think I can do it?

1. As my son was leaving for school this morning I caught him for a quick hug and kiss. "I'm too old for kisses, Mom," he complained. And yet when I bent to press my cheek to his hair, he let me kiss him again and again and again.

2. I was up with the sunrise this morning, and through the east-facing window in my baby's bedroom the sky was cotton candy pink.

3. My friend posted a new profile picture on Facebook and I was reminded again of just how lovely she is, and how blessed I am to call her friend.

4. While my baby was nursing this morning, he looked up and made eye contact with me. The grin that came over his face left no doubt in my mind that he knows who I am and that he loves me.

5. The trees outside my window are golden. When the breeze lifts the leaves they look like a handful of tumbling coins.

What a gift to be alive! Lord, don't let me waste a moment.

How about you? What was ordinarily extraordinary in your life today?

A Million Miles: Chapters 20-22

2010-10-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday! I'm actually blogging on time. I should get an award or something. ;)

It's short and sweet today... I was captured by Miller's story about hiking to Machu Picchu. Partly because I was a Spanish teacher in another life (or maybe a mere six years ago) and I've always wanted to visit Peru. But I also loved the fact that he finally did something totally unexpected and out of character--he went and had a grand adventure.

So, here's my question: What is one wild and crazy, totally-not-you thing you've done in your life?

I'm going way back to answer my own question, but one of the most atypical Nicole things I have ever done is try out for the cheerleading squad. When I was in elementary school I was a very shy, quiet girl. There is no Christian high school in my small town, so when I graduated 8th grade I had to choose between two different schools in neighboring towns. I made my choice with the hope of starting fresh--giving myself the freedom to reinvent Niki, at least a little. One of the first things I did was put my name on the sign-up sheet for cheerleading try-outs behind at least 30 other girls. There were two slots that first year and I was sure I didn't stand a chance. Timid me? Are you kidding? But the day of try-outs I gave it my all. It was like I was a different person. I was wearing a mask... Or maybe just allowing myself to be the person I didn't dare to be before. I will never forget the feeling when they posted the results and my name was the last one on the list. Yup, I was a cheerleader, and for better or worse it was one of the most shaping experiences of my entire life.

Your turn! I just admitted that I used to wear a short skirt and scream Be Aggressive! at the top of my lungs. Don't leave me hanging out here all on my own... ;)

New Site

2010-10-01T08:00:00.016-05:00

So my website is undergoing a redesign. Seems like I do that a lot. But in this digital age (and in this depressed economy when the publishing industry is taking a hit), you have to stay current and engaging or you quickly become just another voice lost among the billions. And hey, I'm okay being just another voice. But this voice would love to keep getting book contracts and the only way that's going to happen is if my books actually sell. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, my current site (though absolutely lovely) is rather tied to my book The Moment Between. Which would be great if TMB was a bestseller on the New York Times list. Since it's not, I need my site to be more about my books (and my vision) as a whole.

A while back I asked my readers (you!): Who are you? And I wasn't surprised at all by the answers. In my estimation (and according to your answers) we are a group of intelligent, often educated women who are strong and independent but who embrace our femininity. We're students and professionals, mothers and grandmothers. We accept the reality of a broken world, but we are not jaded. We love beauty, and although we accept that life is messy, we refuse to stop wearing white. I think this description encompasses my books as well, and highlights what I attempt to do with each of my novels--show one small way that the light shines brighter because of the darkness around it.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I need your help. My good friends (Brand New Graphics and Ellenvelde) are working on the website redesign, and part of the process was taking some photos that visually capture the essence of my books (and me, I suppose). We're looking for something that balances harsh with feminine, hope with grit. A marriage between idealism and reality. We had a whirlwind photo shoot that took place in a soybean field, in the shadow of grain elevators, and even on a car compacter. My question is this: Which background/pose/facial expression/attire/etc. best represents our vision? Bear in mind that for every setting represented below, we have close-ups, shots where I'm smiling, pensive, or not looking at the camera at all. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Photo 1

Photo 2

Photo 3

Photo 4

Photo 5

A Million Miles: Chapters 17-19

2010-09-29T09:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this is starting to sound like a refrain with me: I'm sorry I'm late. Yuck. I'm sick of saying it. And you're probably sick of hearing it. Let's just leave things like this... I'm busy, you're busy. Sometimes I just won't get my posts up on time and sometimes you won't have a chance to read and respond. Grace, grace, all around grace. Thanks for your patience.

So my tardiness has nothing to do with my desire to discuss these chapters with you. I've felt like the last pages of the book have been a bit repetitive, but I think we break new ground in our reading for today. I'm going to go in a bit of a different direction, though, and solicit your stories instead of dissecting Miller's words. In How to Make Yourself Write a Better Story he says:

Here's the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.

Ouch. So hard to hear and yet so true. I think he's totally right, and I think most of us can relate. I know I can... My life is littered with times that I haven't had the courage to step out and sacrifice a little. And, thankfully, there are a handful of instances when I actually manned up and did something totally beyond myself. I won't bore you with the long list of failures, but I'd love to share one small miracle in my own life.

When Aaron and I were trying to decide whether or not the Lord was calling us to adopt, I was a wreck of emotions. I had always felt called to adoption, and I desperately wanted a baby, but I also wanted my motives to be pure and God's will for our lives to be evident. I went in circles trying to tease God into writing it out in a contract for me. Yes, I want you to adopt. Yes, I will make the funds available. Yes, I will bless your family... But, of course, nothing is quite that clear cut. One afternoon as I was wading through information packets from five different adoption agencies, I spread the papers out on the floor and laid on top of them, face down. I know, I'm dramatic. But my heart was broken and I was confused, and it felt like God was being very distant and uncaring. So I prostrated myself and cried like a baby until everything seemed distilled down to one all-important issue. "God," I said, sitting up. "If you want us to adopt you need to show me that you will provide for us financially. You know full well that we don't have $20,000." And though I can't claim to have heard the voice of God, he spoke so clearly to my soul my heart stopped beating. His reply? "If you want to walk on water, you better get out of the boat."

And we did. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was a huge, terrifying, life-altering step of faith that was filled with complications, second-guessing, and strife. But we got out of the boat, and God did provide in a hundred unexpected, wonderful, and downright miraculous ways. Oh, how he has blessed us. Our son is pure joy. (And yes, that's him in the photo above. Beautiful child...)

Your turn: Would you share a time when you learned that joy costs pain? Or, is there a time that you didn't dare to take the plunge that you deeply regret? I think we can learn so much from each other... Our stories, like Millers, are our testimonies--our chances to encourage, sustain, and uplift. Thanks for reading.

What's Now

2010-09-22T20:02:00.000-05:00

I'm watching...

I'm reading...

I'm listening to...

How about you???

A Million Miles: Chapters 13-16

2010-09-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm throwing you a bit of a curveball this morning by including chapter 16 in our "three chapters a week" routine. Sorry 'bout that. It just made sense to include that little mini chapter (the conclusion to Part II) in our discussion today. Though I'm going to talk about something that came up in chapter 13...

Right now I'm going through my annual fall make-over. No, this isn't a physical make-over (though I did buy a pair of skinny jeans in a moment of pure insanity this past weekend), it's more of a total life overhaul. I tend to do this every autumn. I don't know why. Maybe it's the back-to-school routine or the obvious changing of the seasons. Either way, September seems to be a bigger "new start" to me than January 1. Everything feels fresh and ready, ripe for resolutions and refinements that I've been putting off for months.

This year my goals have much to do with simplicity. I want to spend more time with my kids, enjoy long conversations with my husband, go for walks in our new neighborhood. I want to eat less packaged foods and feed my family home-baked breads instead of Oreos. I plan to work out more, get my core in shape, and sweat my way through high-impact cardio. I intend to make one personal connection (email, phone call, coffee chat) every day. I want, in short, to be a better me.

Which is exactly where I think Miller is at by this point in the book. He's trying to find a good story, an ambition, anything that will drive his character to do something meaningful with his life. And at the beginning of chapter 13, that translates into "getting up a little earlier," and "going to fewer movies."

Hmmm. It's a start, I guess. Much like my autumn resolutions are little more than scraping the surface of a more "meaningful" life. Is doing extra sit-ups really going to make my life better? Not likely. And yet these sorts of goals give me structure, something to shoot for even if it seems somewhat inane.

So, here's my question. In our search for meaning, do you think there is value in striving for personal betterment? Do resolutions build character that eventually results in the sort of integrity that prods us to change the world? Or does focusing on our own story insulate us and make us individualistic? In looking at my own list, I can't help noticing that most of the things I hope to accomplish this fall don't extend beyond the borders of my home and family. Somehow that doesn't feel right to me...

What do you think? Are you, like me, constantly in the process of "bettering" yourself? If so, what things drive you? Do you think this is healthy? Or is our culture influencing our understanding (or misunderstanding) of God's desire to write our stories?

Pumpkin Bread

2010-09-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

Autumn is my favorite season for so many reasons, and I won’t pretend that one of them isn't the yummy fall fare. I’m an amateur foodie, what can I say? At any rate, this is one of my favorite fall recipes. It’s perfect for breakfast or snacking and makes a dense, moist, delicious bread. You’ll love it!

Pumpkin Bread

Ingredients:

1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree

4 eggs

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 butter

2/3 cup water

1 cup white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup applesauce

3 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two loaf pans.
In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water, sugars, and applesauce until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. You’ll have to watch the loaves rather closely at the end of the baking time. Ovens vary greatly and you don’t want to over bake this wonderful bread!

Sneak Peek: Beneath the Night Tree

2010-09-15T08:00:00.013-05:00

In the hope of getting you all excited for the upcoming release of Beneath the Night Tree, I'm going to regularly offer sneak peeks into the story. Don't worry--I won't give too much away. There are lots of surprises in this book and I don't want to spoil any of them! But a few paragraphs won't hurt. :)

From the very first chapter, Songbird:

Daniel hummed in his sleep. It was an unconscious song, a midnight lullaby, as familiar to me as the sigh of my own breath. I fell asleep at night listening to the cadence of his dreams, and when I woke in the morning, his quiet melody was a prelude to birdsong.

I opened my eyes in the darkness and strained to see an imprint of peach on the horizon beyond my open window. It was coming, but when I blinked at the black reflection in the glass, dawn was nothing more than a promise, and Daniel’s every exhalation seemed tuned to charm it into being. I pictured him in his bed, arm flung over the pillow and palm opened toward the sky as if God had set an orchestra before his still-chubby fingers. As if God had chosen my son to coax light into our little house.

Maybe He had.

If there was one thing I had learned in five years of being a single mom, it was that the Lord did exactly that: He used the small, the inconsequential, the forgotten to shame the wise. He worked in contradictions, in the unexpected. And I wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if He hovered over my Daniel, drawing music from the curve of his parted lips with the gentle pull of divine fingers.

The thought made me smile, and for a moment I longed to tiptoe across the cool floorboards and be a part of it all, to slip into the tiny attic nook that was my son’s bedroom. I wanted to feel my way through the shadows, stretch out beside him, and kiss the sugared-sweet little boy mouth that puckered like a perfect bow.

A Million Miles: Chapters 10-12

2010-09-13T08:00:00.001-05:00

Welcome back! It's been a wild week, but everyone in the Baart household is happy, healthy, and loving our new home. Space! Oh, glorious space! We feel so incredibly, undeservedly blessed.

Anyway, I'm excited to jump right into the chapters for this week. So much in these pages spoke to me (especially the part about feeling like a loser in your own life), but I'm going to focus on one passage in particular. From Writing the World:

I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.

To me this entire passage can be summed up in a sentence: We don't want to live a life that requires us to accept the bitter with the sweet. Because really living--really truly investing ourselves in our life, the people around us, our community, our story--requires sacrifice. And let's face it: sacrifice sucks. It makes us dive down deep into ourselves, to the places where we are insecure and vulnerable and capable of being wounded. It's a whole lot easier to live life on the surface.

But it's also a lot less beautiful. It's less fulfilling. More mundane. I think Shauna Niequist puts in perfectly in her book (aptly named) Bittersweet: "...we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the callouses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy." Amen. I choose a bittersweet life.

Which is easy to say right now when my life is sprinkled with sweet. And not some sort of light dusting of confectioners' sugar. We're talking a baking catastrophe--an industrial-sized bag of the good stuff spilling out all over me. It's not always like this... I've known loss and heartache, and even now amid all the good there are bitter pills to swallow. Feelings of isolation that creep in and cuddle up next to the contentedness. Distance from my husband as he puts in crazy-busy weeks at his new job. The knowledge that even though I do my best as a mother I fail and fail again. But even in the midst of this, I can see opportunities for growth and change... the possibility of a better me, a better life, a better story on the horizon.

What about you? Is your life more bitter or sweet right now? Are you afraid to accept the responsibility inherent in acknowledging that life is brilliant? Or do you accept the remarkable (and your role in it) with arms wide open? Anything else in these chapters you would like to discuss? I'd love to hear from you...

Vomit and Beyond...

2010-09-08T16:17:00.000-05:00

Hello all. Sorry I didn't keep us on-track with a Million Miles blog on Monday. The good (bad?) news is I don't have a good excuse... I have a GREAT excuse. ;)

We moved on Saturday (woot-woot!) and are living in utter chaos. To make matters worse (actually, better in the long-run) we hired someone to help us out with our painting and he started first thing Monday morning. Nothing is where it belongs--instead, it is all piled in the middle of the great room. See the photo above? That's me with all our junk in the background. Sigh. I don't like living amid clutter, but puked-on clutter is unimaginably worse... Yup, my middle child got sick on Monday and ended up throwing up on my favorite chair, our couch, and the carpet. You'd think I would have wised up after it happened the first time and attached a bucket to his chin. But I don't think it would have helped... projectile vomit is never easy to contain.

At any rate, I hope you'll forgive me for taking a week to catch my breath (and pray that I don't get sick, too!). I'll be back on Monday with another post about Miller's book (we're up to chapters 10-12). I'll also be sharing an awesome recipe later in the week and a little insight into my upcoming release, Beneath the Night Tree.

Thanks for reading!

Trying to get published?

2010-09-02T08:04:00.000-05:00

Don't do what these poor suckers did...

Slushpile Hell

You have to go to this site--I'm still laughing. :)

A Million Miles: Chapters 7-9

2010-08-30T21:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday! This week is going to be a zoo for me because the Baarts are moving! We're so excited. :) In fact, I was able to get into our new house this morning and begin painting and moving some boxes in. Though we don't officially move until Saturday, it's going to be a week-long process because we didn't just buy a new house, we are actually swapping houses with the family that bought our house. Crazy, eh? And not only are we trading homes, but the people who we originally bought our current house from have bought it back. Are you following me? It's quite the story--very exciting and smudged with God's divine fingerprints. We couldn't have dreamed this up if we tried!

At any rate, I'll be taking a break from blogging for the rest of the week as we endure the final push to get into our new house. I'm exhausted... And it's only Monday. But I had to blog today because I am so excited to talk about this section in our book. Chapter 9 (How Jason Saved His Family) contains one of the most powerful stories I have ever read. Ever. I think it encompasses the complexity of the human condition (at least, the condition of the humans inhabiting most of North America) and our longing for something more. At our core we long for meaning. I believe that heart and soul...

So. I'm dying to know. Did Jason's story hit you as hard as it hit me? How many of us have lived Rachel's life? We're not bad people, we're just "choosing the best story" available to us. We want to be pursued, wooed, adored, wanted. We want to be a part of a grand adventure. And when our experiences fall short we try to manufacture feelings and excitement from things that will not (cannot) satisfy. I love how Miller puts it: "I pictured his daughter (Rachel) flipping through the channels of life, as it were, stopping on a story that seemed the most compelling at the moment, a story that offered something, anything, because people can't live without a story, without a role to play." Wow.

By the end of the chapter, Miller's friend Jason was able to say this about his daughter: "She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while." Wow again.

Like last week, I'm not going to eulogize the book. Instead I'll open up the discussion... Have you ever lived a role simply because it was better than nothing? What is the best story available to you right now? Have you ever forgotten who you were? What caused you to remember? Of course, you can always talk about what stood out to you in these chapters. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Beneath the Night Tree

2010-08-27T08:00:00.002-05:00

I'm so excited to finally be able to share with you the cover for my new book! Isn't it gorgeous?

From the back cover copy:

I have thought about you every day for the past five and a half years...

I'm sorry...

Do I have a child?

Julia DeSmit knew she would face the question eventually, but she didn’t expect it now that she is finally content with the way her life has unfolded. A single mother to her son and younger brother, she cherishes living with her beloved grandmother and is hoping to be engaged to Michael Vermeer—the man of her dreams—by year’s end.

Then a cryptic e-mail from her son’s father spins her world off axis. She hasn’t heard from Parker since he left her in a college parking lot without a backward glance. But one look at her son—the spitting image of his father—is enough to convince her that, for better or worse, Parker is a part of their story.

Faced with this new reality and the potential unraveling of her unorthodox family, Julia begins a tightrope walk between what was, what is, and what she hopes for in her sanctuary beneath the night tree.

Dissecting Harry Potter

2010-08-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

Last week I shared a few of my recent favorite reads and swooned a little about J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. (Yup, I've read all seven books several times and I still get a bit weak-kneed. Crazy, I know.) Anyway, Bina asked: What your take is on Harry Potter as a pastor's wife?? I hear SO many conflicting arguments about the series from Christian groups...and I just wonder what you think :)

Good question.

Believe it or not, this is not the first time I've blogged about Harry. You can read my original Harry Potter post here. I think it will give you a lot of insight into why I like the series. But there are more reasons why I not only don't have a problem with the Harry books, but actually deeply enjoy them and have every intention of reading them aloud with my kids when they are an appropriate age.

There are a lot of people who probably think I'm nuts. I've heard everything from "Harry Potter is Satanic" to "J.K. Rowling is a Nazi." Huh? Anyway, I'm not even going to justify those arguments by trying to denounce them. Nor am I going to launch a lyrical defense of Rowling's books. Frankly, I'm too sleep deprived. Instead, I'm going to keep my reasons short and simple.

I think the Harry Potter series is harmless, entertaining, emotive, and filled with love, truth, and beauty. I don't believe it beckons young people into a life of witchcraft and wizardry any more than The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe entices children to climb into dressers in the hope of entering a new world. Nor do I think J.K. Rowling intended to do anything other that write a good story. I don't believe there are underlying messages or insidious themes. But I do believe that her books strike a deep chord in the hearts of her readers, and there are many times throughout the long series that she truly does a breathtaking job of pointing out the power of love and the human need for justice, mercy, and goodness.

That said, I do think that as with any book (ANY book), parents should know what their kids are reading and be involved in the process. Books like this are ripe for great conversations with your kids and have the potential to make inroads that might not have been opened if not provoked by "controversial" material. Read it. Talk about it. Engage.

Okay, enough from me. What do YOU think? Disagree with me? I'd love to hear what you have to say...

A Million Miles: Chapters 4-6

2010-08-23T22:07:00.000-05:00

I promised to blog about Donald Miller's book on Mondays and I'm just squeaking this post in! I'm rusty at this blogging thing... Not to mention very, very busy. Have I mentioned that the Baart family is moving next week? Have I mentioned that I hate packing? Well, we are and I do. But I can't complain--we're so excited to settle into our new home! It's a pretty incredible story... I'll have to share it with you sometime.

But not now. Now I need to talk about A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Wow. Can I just say I'm loving the dialogue so far? We need a forum or something--in lieu of a face-to-face gab session, I'd love to chat "real time" with you about these issues even if our fingers are doing the talking. Oh well, we're making do, aren't we? You all are awesome.

Today I'm going to keep it short and sweet. The book is speaking for itself and I certainly don't feel the need to narrate. Instead, I'm going to jump right into the paragraph that gripped me this week.

It didn't occur to me at the time, but it's obvious now that in creating the fictional Don, I was creating the person I wanted to be, the person worth telling stories about. It never occurred to me that I could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me. I was creating someone I could live through, the person I'd be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other. And flesh and soul better too.

It never struck me until I read this paragraph that the person I am and the person I think I am are not necessarily the same woman. Let me give you an example... Just tonight one of my friends asked to hold my new baby. I happily passed him off, and as she buried her face in his sweet cheeks she murmured: "Oh, you smell just like your mommy." Of course, I assumed she meant he smelled good--maybe like Dove soap and the light perfume I wear. But for all I know she meant my son smelled like sweat and sour milk. How can I know how other people perceive me? In my mind I'm a "good" character. I do nice things, work hard, take care of myself, and yes, even smell decent. I draw a better me no matter the circumstance. But when I think about myself the way the rest of the world must see me, I realize that the life I live is indeed boring. I'm selfish and petty and probably mean. Lacking. I'm not the storybook character I wish I was.

So, here's my question for the day: If you could edit one thing in your life, "dream it all up again" like Ben says, what would you change? How would you redraw your own character to be flesh and soul better?

There are so many things that I would love to do to "better" myself, but I guess if I had to pick just one I would mold myself into the sort of selfless woman that always puts others first. You know the type: quick to listen and slow to speak, always ready with a helping hand, a smile, a meaningful gesture of true compassion and kindness. The truth is, I think about me way too much. I would love to be one of those woman that people are drawn to because of the sincerity of her heart.

How about you? Or, what stuck out to you in these chapters? I'd love to hear what you have to say...

PS - I forgot to mention how we would proceed with readings. Let's take 3 chapters a week until we finish the book. Next week we'll talk about chapters 7-9. Happy reading!

One Body Update

2010-08-20T14:10:00.007-05:00

Want to know what our non-profit has been up to? Check out the video. I made it! I feel like a proud kindergartner showing off her crayon drawing. :)

Have a fabulous weekend! See you on Monday for more conversation on A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

Best Breastfeeding Books

2010-08-18T20:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, you don't have to read these books while nursing, but I liked the alliteration. Since I'm reading a couple of books a week these days, I thought I'd share my favorites with you.

Best Escapist Romp

The Forgotten Garden
Kate Morton

This is a delicious book. Mystery, romance, and dark secrets... Such fun. I had a bit of a hard time getting into it (too much backstory for my liking), but once Cassandra arrived in England, things really picked up. I also guessed the big plot twist long before the reveal, but the book was so enjoyable I didn't much mind. (Contemporary/Women's Fiction)

Best Page-Turner

The Hunger Games
Suzanne Collins

I devoured this book. In fact, I stayed up late reading it--and this is no small commendation considering my sleep is short and interrupted these days. It's fast and furious and made me hopelessly uncomfortable... In a good way. Definitely a book worthy of discussion. (Young Adult/Sci-Fi)

Best Tear-Jerker

Niagara Falls All Over Again
Elizabeth McCracken

I bawled over this book. Granted, I'm a little hormonal, but still. It's a beautiful book. Funny and fascinating and bittersweet. Though I didn't think I'd be much interested in the life of vaudeville, I was rapt as McCracked unraveled her story. (Contemporary Fiction)

Best Re-Read

Harry Potter (all of them)
J.K. Rawling

Seriously, do I even have to explain? I'm re-reading the entire series and I'm up to The Goblet of Fire. My heart breaks for Snape just a little more every time. Who's with me? I should start an "I love Snape" fan club... I'm such a sucker for the underdog, the unloved, the left-behind. (Young Adult/Fantasy)

Best Cat-Nap Inducer

One Thousand White Women
Jim Fergus

Okay, I don't mean to be nasty, but I could NOT make it through this book. I so wanted to, but every time I picked it up I started to doze off. I'm sure it's a wonderful book (it sure got enough acclaim!), but my nursing mind was simply not impressed. Maybe I'll try again when my baby is weaned... We'll see. (Historical)

How about you? Any "bests" to share with me? I'd love to hear...! :)

A Million Miles: Chapters 1-3

2010-08-16T15:17:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday! And what a wonderful Monday it is... We celebrated our baby's baptism yesterday, my in-laws are in town from British Columbia, and the weather is gorgeous. Life is so good. And to make it even better, I get to kick off an on-line discussion today. Oh, I've been looking forward to this. :)

Have you started reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years? Yay if you have, no problem if you haven't. The cool part about this book is you can be a part of the conversation whether or not you've read the chapters. And there are so many levels of application--from personal to professional (i.e. lots of neat insight into creating memorable characters, scenes, and stories), there's something for everyone.

So, here's how we're going to do this. Every Monday I'll blog about whatever struck me in the readings for the day. At the end of the post I'll invite you to answer two questions: one related to my own musings, and one soliciting your responses to the chapters we've read. To be perfectly honest, I'm far more interested in what you guys have to say. Then, throughout the week we'll keep the dialogue going. I promise to respond to every comment. In fact, I can't wait to do so. Without further ado...

Chapters 1-3

From the Author's Note:
"... Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo. But we spend our lives living these stories, and expect our lives to feel meaningful. The truth is, if what we chose to do with our lives won't make a story meaningful, it won't make a life meaningful either."

I'm cheating a bit today by launching our discussion with a quote from the Author's Note instead of one of the chapters we read. But if I had to sum up the book in a couple of sentences, this would be my summary. The first time I read this book those lines floored me. I'm sad to say that I have spent much of my life chasing Volvos. Well, not Volvos exactly, but clothes, home decor, vacations... things. And Miller is right. That makes a crappy story.

There are entire weeks and months and years of my life that would make a terrible story and an even worse movie. I'm convinced that nobody, not even my loving God, would be much interested in my teenage quest for a boyfriend, my college self-absorption, and the almost hedonistic indulgence of my twenties. That's not to say that my life story is entirely meaningless--it's definitely peppered with moments that transcend my own selfishness--but I want more than just a great scene or two. I want to live an epic.

But epics don't happen overnight. They develop slowly, age like fine wine. And they begin long before anyone realizes that they're in the midst of a grand narrative... Which leads us to Random Scenes. In the first chapter Miller laments that his life is little more than a collection of random scenes. And yet, I believe that what we remember about our lives (about ourselves) says something about who we are. What do you remember?

Looking way back, to my childhood and young adulthood in particular, there are two types of memories that stand out. The first is a collection of all the imaginary worlds I inhabited. My cousin and I were best friends and confidantes, and we created vibrant imaginary landscapes that we spent years of our lives perfecting and playing in. From Ancient Egypt to the Midwestern prairies, we lived as queens and handmaidens, explorers and adventure-seekers. It's funny how those memories are crisp in my mind's eye and yet I can't remember the name of my third-grade teacher. The second type of memory is not quite so fond... For some reason, I very clearly remember everything I have done wrong. Every time someone yelled at me or I got in trouble, every time that I was made fun of or teased or hurt. You'd think that those sorts of memories would be repressed, or at least relegated to some far-flung and cobwebby corner of the filing cabinet that is my brain, but instead each incident is meticulously cataloged and made available at the slightest provocation. Anything can bring back those feelings, those ugly scenes. Sometimes it's a scent, a scene in a movie, or a sideways glance. Whatever triggers the memory, the end result is always the same: I'm left feeling exposed, naked. Like one of those dreams when you show up at a party and realize you've forgotten to put on clothes. Yuck.

Okay, so we've begun... This feels like a strange place to stop, but we're building something here. It's going to come a piece at a time. So, I'm going to sign off and leave it to you. It's your turn. Here are my questions for you. Answer one, answer them both, or ask one of your own. It's up to you!

1.) What in these chapters stood out to you? Why?
2.) What are some random scenes from your life? What do you think they say about you? (In fairness, I haven't answered the second half of this question. I will, in the comment section... But I'd like to hear from a few of you first.)

Invitation

2010-08-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

So this is how I spend my days: lovin' on my baby. And oh, am I ever in love! I'm sure I was like this with my other boys, but somehow in the interim between infants I forgot how head over heels this mommy feels when it comes to a fresh-from-God babe. Bliss. I was made for this.

But I was also made for writing... And I'm back at it! Actually, in spite of my lack of sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago with a fully fleshed-out scene playing like a movie reel in my mind. Nothing could be more fun for my author side! I got up and hammered it out as fast as I could. Ever since, it's like a floodgate has been opened. In other words, it's time for me to get back into the swing of things. Slowly, of course. ;)

Anyway, today I would like to issue an invitation... But let me give you a little background first. We only have one TV in our home and it happens to be tucked into the basement. I'm a fresh air and sunshine sort of a girl, so I don't go down there often. Truth is, I'd rather read a book upstairs than watch the tube down. So, you can imagine how many books I've read throughout my month-long maternity leave. I am, after all, nursing. I was planning to write a couple posts highlighting some of the incredible reads that have kept me entertained these past weeks. But there is one book that deserves much more than a quick review.

Have any of you read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller? It's a popular book--I'm certainly not the first to recommend it. But I do recommend it. Highly. In fact, I would dare say that A Million Miles is one of the most influential books that I've read in the past ten years. Yup. It was that transformational. And I want to talk to someone about it... It's not enough to have read it. I want to discuss it.

So why not discuss it here? For the next few months, I'm going to host a sort of book club. Every Monday I'll write a post about a chapter of Miller's book. If you want to pick up the book and follow along, great! If not, I believe A Million Miles offers enough challenge and insight to make participation in our discussions meaningful for even a first time reader of my blog. It's a win-win.

Still not convinced? Let me tell you a bit about the book... From the back cover copy: After writing a successful memoir, Donald Miller's life stalled. During what should have been the height of his success, he found himself unwilling to get out of bed, avoiding responsibility, even questioning the meaning of life. But when two movie producers proposed turning his memoir into a movie, he found himself launched into a new story filled with risk, possibility, beauty, and meaning. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years chronicles Miller's rare opportunity to edit his life in a great story...

Ultimately, I believe this book is about helping the rest of us edit our lives into a great story. I know I've been giving my own story a lot of thought these days. And, if that's not compelling enough, Miller spends a lot of time discussing the concept of story itself. What makes a good story? What sorts of characters are readers drawn to? What makes a tale memorable? Though I didn't expect to glean writing advice from this book, I have to admit I learned a lot about my craft.

So, there you have it. For the next several Mondays I'll be posting (and longing for your comments and interactions!) about A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Get thee to a bookstore and join the fun! Or jump in whenever you feel so led. I hope this turns into a very meaningful, and possibly even inspiring, exercise.

If you plan to read along, let's cover the first three chapters by next Monday (Random Scenes, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and They Fell Like Feathers). Don't worry, they're not long, and my guess is you'll actually want to keep reading. See you in a week!

Sleep deprived...

2010-08-04T12:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, I had such high hopes for getting back into the swing of things this week! Sadly, my good intentions did not translate into reality. Why? Because I'm tired. So sleepy... My sweet, little baby has decided that sleep is for sissies--and he's no pansy. I, on the other hand, am a wimp, a loser, a wuss, and yup, a pansy. Mommy needs sleep or mommy doesn't function so well. Thus, no stellar blogging from this drowsy lady. Sorry. :(

Thanks for your patience as I continue to try to get my feet under me! I keep reminding myself that he's only three weeks old... I can't expect him to be sleeping through the night and feeding on a four hour schedule. And when he decides that he needs to nurse every two hours for an entire day, I just need to put my feet up and get comfortable. I'm not going anywhere.

Speak of the honey and the honey awakes... I can hear him squirming around in his bassinet. Gotta go--I know exactly what he wants, and I'm not about to keep him waiting. ;)

Hugs,
Nicole

2 Weeks

2010-07-27T09:39:00.001-05:00

It's 9:15 and I'm still in my pajamas. How sad is that? Even worse, if I had my way I would not only be in my pajamas, I'd still be sound asleep in my soft, comfy, warm, inviting bed... Oh, bed, how I miss thee.

Whew. It's been two weeks since our little one was born, and time is doing that strange, overlapping thing when sometimes it feels as if we brought him home yesterday and sometimes it feels as if he has been a part of our lives forever. Either way, I continue to be blissfully euphoric about my new role as a mother of three. Three. It's such a nice, complete number. The sides of a triangle, each leaf of a clover, the Trinity. I like being a mother of three. No, I love it. But I'm busy, too. Tired. A little red-eyed and pale. Mostly because when I'm ready to sleep, my baby is as wide-eyed and cheerful as the cutie in the picture above. (No, that honey is not mine... Sorry!) And yet, how is it the dark lines under my eyes mean nothing when I get to bury my lips in the sweet neck of my baby?

Okay, I told you that if I blogged during this time it would be little more than sentimental drivel. Sorry. But you were warned. Anyway, before I totally embarrass myself and start composing sonnets to my little one, I'll write what I came to write and go take a much-needed shower. I think I could sculpt my hair right now using nothing my my fingers and a bit of elbow grease. Sad, isn't it?

While two weeks of fawning over my infant is not nearly enough time to satisfy my mommy cravings, I am starting to miss my "regular" life. I've been working hard on stuff for One Body One Hope (check out the blog for some exciting news!), reading a lot, and getting the creative itch to write again... Fourteen days is a long time to abandon my craft! So, it's time. Or almost time. I'll be getting back into the swing of things slowly this week...

Which includes sneak previews of some of my works in progress, writing tips and life inspirations from Donald Miller (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is one of the best books I've ever read. Ever.), some recipes for busy moms (I found time to make the best cookies the other day--they lasted all of ten hours), and other fun tidbits about life, summer, motherhood, imagination, and maybe even breastfeeding. ;)

Love and hugs to all! I hope you're enjoying the last few days of July... Yikes. Is August a mere breath away??? See you on Thursday... Or maybe Friday. ;)

It's a BOY!

2010-07-19T16:34:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to pop in and let you all know that our little one was born late on Tuesday, July 13 after 20 hours of labor. Yikes! Who knew it could take so long for such a tiny guy (7 lb., 1 oz., 20 inches long) to make his appearance? Oh well, he was worth every second and more. He's such a honey--sweet and soft and full of all those amazing baby sounds... I could not possibly be more in love. Anyway, I'm afraid I don't share my children's names online (sorry!), nor do I post photos of them, but I thought these two would be okay. They say babies all look the same, but I'm pretty taken with mine. ;)

Hugs to all! I'll be blogging more soon. Until then, see what I'm doing in the top photo? That's pretty much what I'll be up to... My lips have hardly left his precious little body.

Special Delivery

2010-07-11T21:24:00.000-05:00

No, that's not my belly. But isn't it cute? I know some people aren't fond of the pregnant silhouette, but I think it's soooo beautiful. Too bad I won't be sporting the tummy much longer...

Too bad? What am I talking about?! I am so excited to meet this baby! And if all goes as planned I'll be holding my little one in my arms by early this week. I'm being induced on Tuesday morning, and though I'm not thrilled about having an induction, I've accepted that with my history (and the blood-thinning injections I've been giving myself for the past nine months) I don't have much of a choice. So pitocin it is. Oh joy. However, I have been having some very strong (and rather regular) contractions all weekend, so maybe I'll still get my wish and go into labor naturally. Wouldn't that be fun? I'll be praying this baby decides to fool the doctors.

Anyway, as you can imagine, my mind is elsewhere these days. So I'm going to be taking a break from blogging for... oh, I don't know... however long it takes for me to get over the I-don't-want-to-do-anything-but-stare-at-my-baby stage. I'll pop in to let you know the good news, but don't expect any long, thought-provoking posts in the next little while. More likely, you'll receive a random, sappy ode to my wee one that was written in tears on the keyboard. Darn hormones.

While I'm gone, blessings to you! Enjoy the dog days of summer... Drink lemonade, let your kids play in the sprinkler, read a cheap paperback that lets you leave your brain on a shelf, and soak up these amazing July days. They'll be over in a flash.

Hugs to all!
Nicole

Breastfeeding

2010-07-10T08:00:00.003-05:00

Wow. How's that for a post title? Are you still with me? Or have you run from my blog screaming??? ;)

Saturdays are my "just for fun" days, and today I feel like conducting a poll. But before I do, I have to give you a little background...

My first son was born in Canada, and I was the happy recipient of a year-long maternity leave. Being the smitten young mom that I was, I eagerly nursed my little one for 10 and 1/2 months. It was bliss. I loved it. He loved it. I never even gave my son a bottle because there was no need to. I was there and I had everything he needed. As you can imagine, I became very adept at managing my little son and a great, big blanket that preserved my modesty. Breastfeeding was such a positive experience for me that I've been eagerly anticipating it again. Until recently.

A few days ago someone took me aside to gently tell me that when my baby is born, I need to nurse in a separate room. None of this discreet feeding behind a blanket around family and/or close friends. Me and my little one have to be out of sight. I was heartbroken.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no exhibitionist and I have no desire to embarrass myself or those around me by flaunting anything that doesn't need to be flaunted. But if I have to leave the room every time my baby needs to eat (like, every two hours), I don't know if I can breastfeed. Just the thought makes me sad.

So, here's my question for you. How do you view this obviously touchy subject? I'd love to know.

Breast is best! New mothers have every right to nurse their babies wherever they want to. Naysayers can close their eyes.
Breastfeeding is great for both mothers and babies. So is compromise. Go ahead and feed, but be discreet. Use a blanket. Know the situation and leave the room when it's appropriate.
If you choose to breastfeed, that's fine, but please use a bottle in public. Even if you use a blanket, we know what you're doing and aren't thrilled with the reminder.
Breastfeeding is gross. That's why people invented formula.

I think you probably already know where I fall on the spectrum, but I'll share after I hear from a few of you.

Poetry in Motion

2010-07-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. This is my oldest son, launching off the end of the dock during our recent lake vacation. Isn't he beautiful? A photo like this is enough to take my breath away. There's a poem in the frame. A story. An epic.

Do you have a picture that makes you sigh? I know you can't share it in the comment section of my blog, but I'd love a link or at least an explanation...

Fact vs. Fiction

2010-07-06T08:00:00.003-05:00

This might come as a surprise to you, but I write fiction. Shocker, I know.

Okay, okay. Of course you know I write fiction. Why bring it up? Because I believe wholeheartedly that the line between fact and fiction is pretty stinkin' fine. Am I suggesting that my Julia character (After the Leaves Fall, Summer Snow, and the upcoming Beneath the Night Tree) is based on my own life? Not at all. I don't have much in common with Julia at all. Maybe, more scandalously, I relate to Abigail (The Moment Between), the somewhat disturbed protagonist of my most recent book. Actually, she's an aberration to me, a total enigma. I wrote about her because I didn't understand her and I wanted to develop empathy for someone that I just didn't get.

So if I'm not writing about myself, why do I think the line between fact and fiction is fine? Because I believe it is impossible to write and not include bits and pieces of yourself. In fact, I might be so bold as to say that you can't be a good writer unless you're willing to bare segments of your soul.

Scary thought. Bits of my soul on display for anyone to read about and dissect? You bet. Anything honest, anything real and moving and potentially changing (even on a very small scale) has to include some sort of sacrifice. For me, that sacrifice comes in the form of little revelations. You read my books, you're going to learn a bit about me--even if the story is far from autobiographical.

Right now I'm working on a book that is framed by a staggering loss. It's a hard book for me to write because I have to daily put myself in the shoes of a woman who has lost her husband. It's not enough for me to simply imagine how she feels, I have to make myself really and truly face the reality of what it would be like to find myself husband-less. It's painful. I don't want to think about that possibility, much less dwell on it to the point of heartache. But her fictional reactions will be based on the tears I've shed trying to put pieces of myself into her life. And I'm weaving in other agonies, other things I've faced even if they don't perfectly relate to my protagonist's situation. It's not fun to dredge that stuff up, especially when I'm working on fiction, not autobiography or even biography.

But I believe that story is powerful. I believe that when we share pieces of ourselves we allow others to deal with their own pain and loss, joy and moments of celebration. It's powerful to be a part of something that matters, that has the promise to reach out and touch another person at a place where they're at (or have been or will be). And I'm willing to weave my fact into my fiction.

How about you? Are you willing to share? Do you allow people to enter into your own struggles and moments of epiphany? Has anyone ever "let you in" and changed things for you?

Homemade Strawberry Pie

2010-07-03T08:00:00.001-05:00

After a couple of heavy posts this week, I thought I'd bring us into the holiday weekend with my favorite 4th of July recipe. This is my grandmother's strawberry pie recipe passed down to my mom and on to me. In my humble opinion, it's the absolute best pie ever. Period. I'll never make strawberry pie another way.

Happy 4th of July!!!

Strawberry Pie

1 9-inch pie shell, baked
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
2 tbsp. white (Karo) syrup
1 small box strawberry gelatin
3 tbsp. cornstarch
1-2 quarts fresh strawberries (depending on how full you want the shell to be)

Instructions:
Boil sugar, water, cornstarch, and syrup stirring constantly. Add dry gelatin and cook until just thickened. Cool slightly. Assemble berries in pie shell (I like to clean my strawberries but leave them whole. It takes awhile to arrange the pie this way, but it looks so pretty!). Pour cooled gelatin mixture over the berries, covering completely. Refrigerate until set. Serve with lots of whipped cream!

Yummy! What's your favorite 4th of July dish???

Balance, Part II

2010-07-01T08:00:00.002-05:00

Yikes. Apparently I have a lot to say about balance! After a long post on Tuesday, we're gearing up for another long one today. But before you're tempted to think that I have this all figured out, let me assure you that I'm as much of a sojourner as any of you. I make horrible mistakes in my pathetic attempts to keep my life sane and balanced. I yell at my kids when they interrupt something "important" that I'm in the middle of doing. And I drive myself in circles trying to make it all work. But I'm learning as I go, and it's getting better. A few years ago I don't think I was in a very healthy place. Now I can honestly say that my stress level is so low sometimes I should probably check my blood pressure. That's saying a lot for this formerly high-strung missy!

Anyway, on to a few more things I've learned about balance along the way...

3. Dream big, but be realistic. Sad to say, but no, you really can't do everything... Though God might have a few surprises up his sleeve. I went through four different majors in college before I finally settled on one. It was such a tough decision for me because there were a dozen things I wanted to do! I was passionate about law and journalism and global issues... Never mind art and writing and veterinary medicine. I wanted to be a marine biologist and an international lawyer and missionary in Uganda. God gave me big dreams and I wanted to do them all. I still want to do them all, and believe it or not, God is continuing to give me ways to fulfill my dreams. But they don't always look like I envisioned they would. I've been a lifeguard, a ranch hand on a dairy farm, a teacher, a speaker, an author, a mother, and a founding member of an exciting non-profit. Not all at the same time, though some of those dreams overlapped. I think the secret to fulfilling those longings was the fact that I held them loosely and I didn't force them--I knew I couldn't be everything I wanted to be and do everything I wanted to do, so I picked a passion (seemingly giving up other dreams) and went with it. Then God opened another door and I walked through that one, too. Several doors later and I can look back and realize that the path I've trod has been paved with dreams--ones that were gifted to me instead of ones that I fought for.

4. Rest. Relax. Be patient. Wait. I'm an ambitious girl. I like to chart my own course and make things happen instead of waiting for them to happen to me. I don't know, maybe that works for some people. But in my "old age" I'm realizing that every day is a gift. I don't want to spend it wishing that I was doing something else or forcing something to happen that isn't meant to be. If my baby needs me today, I want to have the patience to put everything else aside--all the other things that I think are important to "balance"--and focus heart and soul, body and mind on the child that has been placed in my arms. There will be another day to write. Another day to revamp my blog or have a heart-to-heart over coffee with my best friend. All in God's good time.

5. Give it up. This is the last bit of "wisdom" I'm going to give you and it might be the hardest to receive. For people like us (people who embrace creativity, dream big, and long to make a difference in the world) it's hard to understand that every passion and dream we have is not heaven-sent. But sometimes we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and assess what we see. Ask yourself the following questions: Why am I doing this? Why do I want to do this? Is it a true calling on my life or is it merely a passion? What do I have to give up in order to pursue this dream? Is it worth the sacrifice? Sometimes your final answer is going to be a resounding no. Or not yet. I have given up several things (some kicking and screaming, some willingly) that were not good for me. I'm not saying they weren't good things in and of themselves, but for me at that stage in my life they were time-drains. Or worse. But there is even redemption in giving something up. I can't tell you how good it feels to let go of something that you shouldn't have been clinging to in the first place! Talk about freedom!

Well, there you have my suggestions for finding balance. I'd love to hear what you have to say. What are some things you do to keep a little balance in your life? Do you have any specific advice to share? Stories of your own successes or failures along the way? Let's keep the conversation going...

Balance, Part I

2010-06-29T08:00:00.001-05:00

Well, my hubby's sabbatical is nearly done, and life in the Baart home is about to undergo even more major changes. Aaron has one month left as the pastor of our church, and we have just over two weeks to wait for our little one to join the ranks of our ever growing family. Then school starts in August and our Big Boy enters full-time school as a first-grader while our Baby (who I can no longer call a baby--though I suppose he outgrew that nickname years ago) starts preschool. Whew, does life ever slow down?

I hope not. I love the bustle and go--even if it means time marches on. There is a blessed, bittersweet joy in watching the seasons unfold as God continues to grant us days we don't deserve.

But this post isn't about my sappy, pregnant musings. It's about balance.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Making it Happen, and I explained that the question I am most often asked is: "How do you find the time to write?" Well today I want to talk about what I would consider the second most common question: "How do you balance the rest of your life with your writing?" I recently received an email from a young woman who I would say wants it all. She titled her email: Life, writing, and changing the world. Ambitious? Absolutely. And I absolutely loved it.

Guess what? I want it all, too. I want a loving husband and a great marriage, adorable children, an exciting career, fantastic friends, the time and opportunity to travel, the freedom to pursue the things I love (cooking, gardening, entertaining, photography, reading, etc.), a passionate relationship with God, the energy to pour into ministries that move me, and the never waning desire to leave the world better than I found it. Whew. I get tired just reading that list. But I long for all of those things... And I refuse to give even one up.

So, how do you balance a career with a family? Or a great relationship with your spouse and the time it takes to foster deep friendships? I'm no counselor or therapist, and I'm certainly not a motivational speaker. But there are a few things I've learned along the way that work for me. Take my ideas and make them your own. Twist them, bend them, or use them as a launching pad to structure your own philosophy of balance. Whatever you do, approach this topic with determination. I don't believe balance happens accidentally...

1. Realize that there is a season for everything. When Aaron and I were newly married, I longed to travel. We had big plans to backpack Europe, tour Southeast Asia, and visit the slums of India. I'm sad to say that none of those grand plans came to fruition. Yes, we've been to Alaska and Hawaii. We've even toured southern Spain and central Ethiopia. And though they were all wonderful trips, I still want to see more of the world. And you know what? I will. Just not now. Right now I have young sons and a baby on the way. Right now my responsibilities keep me close to home. And that's okay. I'm trying to enjoy every minute of the season that I am in right now. But you can bet that when Aaron and I are empty nesters, our nest will be truly empty! We won't even be in it... You can forward our mail to Bali.

2. Don't be afraid of a schedule. We artists are a flighty bunch. We like to fly by the seat of our pants and let inspiration be our guide. Great idea if you're independently wealthy and have the luxury of lounging around all day waiting for the muse to bless you with her presence. Not so great for those of us who, uh, have lives. If you want to accomplish much, you have to be disciplined. Personally, I schedule my writing time as if I have a job. The time is sacrosanct, and though I would love to ditch my writing some days to hang out at the pool with my friends and their kids, I don't let myself. There are other days for that. Family time is family time. Period. Writing time is writing time. Period. If I'm making a gourmet supper for guests, the computer gets turned off and put away. I make a schedule and I try my hardest to stick to it.

I think I'm going to stop there for the day. This is a long post already and I have more to say! Stop back on Thursday for Part II of this post. In the meantime, it's your turn! Are you a well-balanced person? Or does your life feel off-kilter? Why do you think that is? What (if anything) do you plan to do about it?

2 weeks & 4 days to go!

2010-06-27T18:22:00.000-05:00

Hoping those contractions are doing more than just making me breathless! :) Can't wait to meet my baby!!!

Taking a break...

2010-06-22T08:00:00.003-05:00

I've had so much fun the last few weeks really connecting with many of you. The conversations that have unfolded both in the comment section of certain posts and privately via emails and Facebook chats have been so edifying for me. Thank you! You're amazing, and I look forward to continuing the dialogue...

However, I'm going to take a short break from blogging. My husband has a sabbatical during the month of June, and as we near the end we've decided to take some family time. Time to turn off the computer, let the cell phone battery go dead, and spend some precious hours reconnecting with each other and our incredible sons. Waffles for breakfast, long walks, trips to the park, kite flying, and afternoons at the pool. Mmmm... bliss.

Anyway, in the interim I encourage you to spend some time with each other. So many of my readers have amazing blogs--about writing, adoption, family life, enduring abuse, embracing grace, and so much more! Whether or not you know it, I stop by your blogs, and though I've been silent in the past, I'll be popping in to say "hi" in the coming weeks and months. I understand why people lurk (I do it often enough myself!), but I've discovered that there is much blessing when you take even a moment to reach out and let someone know that you're there.

Grace and peace to you in the coming week! I'll be back soon...

Hugs,
Nicole

Living "Green"

2010-06-19T08:00:00.003-05:00

One of my life dreams is to be "green." Not "in the green," or Kermit green, or even what many people consider to be "green." My definition is a bit more personal than that... I long to be fair, organic, all-natural, ecological, tuned in to the environment, and socially aware of the world around me. To me, living a stewardly life is about much more than pinching pennies and recycling my cardboard boxes. In fact, my definition of a socially and environmentally conscious life probably has little to do with reality since it is so vast and loosely interpreted... When I hear an idea that resonates with me, I adopt it wholeheartedly. And yet there are many areas of my existence that are as of yet untouched by my fledgling desire to live beyond myself.

For example, our family refuses to buy anything but fair trade coffee. Our second son was born in Ethiopia and after seeing the poverty of that coffee-producing country we vowed we'd never buy "cheap" coffee again. And we haven't. However, after seeing the even more devastating poverty in Liberia, and realizing that the rubber tree farms in and around Monrovia produce rubber for American consumption on the broken backs of overworked women and children, I still bought myself a pair of cheap (rubber) sandals at the start of the summer. Guess where they were made? Bangladesh. Probably in a sweat shop run by women and children. Argh. It isn't easy being green.

I'm no saint, and I have much to learn (and even more to give up) in my ongoing quest to live a stewardly, green, organic, call it what you will life. But there are a few things I've discovered along the way, and I thought I would share them with you in case you also long for equality and global/environmental consciousness.

Clothing
I'm a bargin bin shopper and there is nothing I love more than a great deal. However, what child had to work a sixteen hour day so that I could buy myself a $5 Old Navy t-shirt? I can't buy cheap clothes when I picture a starving child working the stitches. That's not to say that I don't sometimes turn off my brain and walk the aisles of my favorite stores anyway. But I'm trying... And I've found some great sites where I can buy fair trade clothing at a reasonable price.

Fair Indigo
Cute clothes and fair prices, especially if you shop the clearance site. When I have this little one and need some new (less roomy) clothes, I plan to do much of my shopping here.

Revive Fair Trade
An independent boutique that connects buyers with talented artisans from around the world. You can buy anything here--from great clothing for the whole family to shoes and home items.

Toms Shoes
For every pair of shoes you buy, Toms will give one pair of shoes to a child in need. How fantastic is that? As an added bonus, the shoes are funky and fun, and they've just introduced a wedge.

Coffee
Believe it or not, though we used to buy our coffee online or in specialty stores, we've discovered that our local Wal-Mart carries fair trade coffee. I'm not a huge Wal-Mart fan, so it's a bit of a concession, but when we're in a pinch (i.e. out of coffee) I can buy their organic, fair trade without hating myself. However, buying direct is better and these are some of the sites I like.

Equal Exchange
We love this coffee, especially because it can be ordered in an Ethiopian roast. A local store also carries this brand, so we don't have to order it online.

The Fair Trade Coffee Company
We've never ordered from this company, but I like it that you can order flavored coffees and blends from quite literally all over the world. Definitely worth looking into.

Food
No, we don't order our food online. But the Baart family is trying to buy local, fresh, and organic. Instead of purchasing store brand breads, we opt for loaves from the local bakery. A weekly farmer's market provides fresh veggies, and strawberry picking and sweet corn season are just around the corner! Unfortunately, we haven't quite convinced ourselves to swallow the expense of organic meat (hormone-free, free range beef and chickens are readily available but quite costly). But hey, baby steps, right?

Anyway, it's your turn! Are you concerned with global/environmental issues? Or not so much? Is there anything you do or don't do (or buy or don't buy) that you'd like to share? I'd love to hear of any websites, tips, or products you love...

Change

2010-06-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

I've spent most of my life dreading change. I like my life predictable, comfortable, and sane. None of this globetrotting, job-changing, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pantsing for me. In fact, I was such a homebody when I was younger that I didn't even like sleepovers. I remember several slumber parties where partway through the night I just wanted to go home. No tears, no gnashing of teeth, just the simple truth: I would like to go home now. The hosts called my parents and I went to sleep in my own bed.

Wow, God has a way of upending our lives, doesn't he? I don't dread change anymore, but not because I've learned to accept it. I tolerate, no, I anticipate change now because I've been forced time and time again to face my biggest fears.

Here are a few of the trials by fire that have slowly shifted my perspective:

I married a pastor. Something I swore I would never do. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I moved to another country. Something I was sure would break my heart in two. I loved it.
I quit my full time job to be a full time mom. Something I thought would drive me insane. Nothing prepared me for the indescribable joy and challenge of being the center of a little one's universe.
I lost four babies. Something that nearly did break me in two. But it opened my eyes to grace, surrender, and ultimately peace in the knowledge that what God has planned for me is infinitely better than what I have planned for myself.
I adopted a baby from Ethiopia. Something I always wanted to do, but never fully understood until the day the case worker told me, "We can't guarantee that your child won't be sick. We can't even guarantee that he won't have HIV." In that moment I realized that it didn't matter. AIDS baby or healthy little boy, he was my son. And now, almost four years later, my gorgeous, healthy son is still one of God's greatest reminders to me of his faithfulness.

Guess what? These days, I don't just anticipate change. I think I love it. It means that God is actively working, that my life isn't standing still. It's like turning a new corner and peering around the bend to see what awaits just out of sight. How exciting is that? Scary, yes. But scary in a roller coaster, thrilling sort of way. It makes me want to close my eyes and feel the wind on my face.

The last few weeks/months have been full of change for the Baart family. Since I consider you my friends, I'd like to share a bit of what's been going on with us.

Probably the biggest change we are experiencing right now is that my husband is no longer a full time pastor in a church. A couple weeks ago he accepted the position of Dean of the Chapel at an amazing, liberal arts college in the midwest. Though we don't have to move, this is a huge change for our family. It was such a tough decision, but we have utter peace with it and we are eager to see what God has in store.
We have a baby on the way! I saw my peri yesterday and we've set a tentative induction date for my due date: July 15. Though I don't really want to be induced, we don't have much of a choice... I live over an hour away from the hospital, and my delivery with Isaac was only 20 minutes. You do the math! Aaron is not impressed with the idea of delivering a baby on the side of the road. Also, I need to stop my lovely blood-thinning injections at least 24-48 hours before I go into labor. The only way to ensure that I do that is to know when I'm going into labor. So... the official countdown begins. :)
This isn't necessarily a change, but it was a life-altering scare. Several weeks ago Aaron discovered a lump on his tongue. An oral surgeon decided it needed to be removed immediately, and shared with us the possibility that it could be malignant. Almost one-week post surgery, we are so relieved to know that everything looks okay and Aaron should make a full recovery. Right now he's still in a lot of pain, and it's difficult for him to talk, but hey--I'm not going to complain! I'll take slurred words and repeated requests for milkshakes over meetings with an oncologist any day.

Yikes. I didn't mean for this post to be so long... Seems like I have lots to say this morning. Anyway, thank you for letting me share a bit of my life with you. I'd love to hear what's going on with you! Are you afraid of change? Or do you embrace each unexpected curve in the road? Have you faced any trials by fire that proved to be an agent of change in your life? Are you facing any big changes yourself these days? Take a moment to comment. I'd love to say a prayer for you.

Being Present

2010-06-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

Let me say right off the bat that I love technology. I'm a big fan of my computer, I'd be lost without my phone, and though my iPod isn't strictly a necessity, I do consider it one of God's little blessings. Music at the touch of a fingertip... Ahhh.

But if there's one thing that continues to frustrate and annoy me about our tech-y age, it's the fact that people are rarely present anymore. I mean truly, deeply, totally focused on the moment. Coffee with a friend is also coffee with her cell phone--and all the people who call and text her during an hour of "alone" time. And car rides with the family aren't about enjoying the scenery and time together anymore. Instead, the kids watch DVDs or play games on their Nintendo DSi. We even surf the web while we're on the phone or text in the middle of a movie. A few weeks ago I received the welcome packet from the birthing center where I hope to have our little one, and was shocked to read the following instruction: "Our hospital enforces a no texting policy during birth and labor. Birth is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It is our hope that you will focus on the birth of your child and worry about updating your Facebook status later." People text in between contractions? Are you kidding me?

I said I love technology, but it's a love-hate relationship. I hate what it does to our attention span, our ability to listen, our potential to engage the moment--to relish each minute that we've been given. How many little blessings do we miss on a daily basis because we're too busy multi-tasking to notice that God has gift-wrapped a sunset?

Sadly, I think the fact that we are easily distracted translates into every area of our lives. I know it does for me. I sat down yesterday to write, and I found that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't shut off the cacophony of voices that kept drawing me away from my craft. The phone rang, my computer beeped to inform me of a new email, my cell phone received a (rare) text. (I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I have never sent a text in my life. What a loser, eh?) Anyway, it struck me that even in my writing, my art--something that I love and that expresses me and that is essential to who I am--I am shiftless and inattentive, incapable of giving myself wholly to something that gives me great joy. That's just plain pathetic.

So, what to do? I think it comes down to small steps, little nudges in more positive directions. When it comes to being present with people, Aaron and I have set down a few ground rules for ourselves. For example, we refuse to have "call waiting." We will never cut someone off in the middle of a phone conversation to see if someone "better" is on the other end of the line. And we have one cell phone between the two of us. It's an emergency phone that we use when we're away from the kids or on the road. Oh, and though we admit this may change someday, we don't have a DVD player in our car. Rather than hook our kids up to earbuds, we play I Spy and point out wonders along the road. Sunday we witnessed a doe and her twin fawns leaping in the ditch.

As for being present when I write, I think it's time to start being more deliberate about reducing distraction when I work. I believe I may have to shut off my computer and write longhand. The good, ol' fashioned way. Who knows? Maybe sans diversions I'll come closer than ever to saying what I actually want to say. Wouldn't that be grand?

Your turn: Are you one of the few people who is truly present in the moment? Or are you easily distracted? What's the number one thing that steals away your time and attention? What is something that you intentionally do to cut down all the background noise and focus on what's really important?

Summer Reading

2010-06-12T21:19:00.000-05:00

The first week of summer vacation has been filled with pool trips, ice cream, and bike rides to the park. I love the lazy days of summer! Especially now since sitting with my behind in a pool and slurping on an ice cream cone are about the only things I have the energy to do. ;)

But in addition to enjoying the sun and the way it makes my beautiful boys even more gorgeous, I love to dedicate countless languid summer hours to reading. Summer reading is not like winter reading. At least, not for me. When it's dark and cold outside, somehow deep, literary tomes that fuel my mild seasonal blues seem appropriate. But when it's glorious, I want fun books with cheerful endings--something that makes me grin (or that, at the very least, doesn't depress me) and reinforces the fact that the world is indeed a beautiful place. I'm going to share a few of my top summer picks and I would be forever obliged if you would do the same! I'm desperate for a few good books... A week-long trip to the lakes is impending and I need at least a stack to take along.

Happy reading!

Broken for You
Stephanie Kallos

Though this book may seem dark at first glance, it is filled with hope and grace. You'll cheer for the characters, weep when they weep, laugh when they laugh, and ultimately relish every moment that you spend with this glorious book. Five stars, all the way. (BTW, it starts off pretty literary and around mid-point becomes a fast-paced page turner. Don't let that throw you off.)

Love Walked In & Belong to Me
Marisa de los Santos

Have you read any of the Shopaholic books? (The first was recently made into a movie.) Marisa de los Santos debut and the accompanying sequel remind me of those books only with more style and depth. These are fun reads, but they don't shy away from tough topics. I loved them both! 4 enthusiastic stars.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Stieg Larsson

I'm not going to lie to you. The first time I started this book I stopped after about 75 pages. But someone encouraged me to get past the seemingly meandering plot line and inconsistencies, and on the second go-round I found myself devouring it. Lisbeth is riveting, and once you meet her the action will leave you breathless. 4 stars, but only because I haven't yet read the rest of the Lisbeth Salander books. They're on my must-read list.

Her Mother's Hope
Francine Rivers

I recently shared on my Facebook page that I received Francine's newest offering in the mail. Though I'm not quite finished with the book, I'm going to jump the gun and recommend it wholeheartedly. It's sweeping and beautiful and heart-wrenching... I can't put it down. When I do put it down I find myself thinking about the characters and wondering what will happen next. It's distracting--in a good way. 4 1/2 stars because I'm not completely finished. When I am, I'm sure it'll be a resounding 5 star book.

Your turn: What have you read lately that you loved??

Mac Cam

2010-06-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

So I have a new computer. Have I mentioned that already? ;) Loving it, loving it, BTW. And though my IBM friends still consider me a Benedict Arnold of the worst degree, I'm so happy not to have to deal with the "blue screen of death" on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. But I'm not blogging this morning to start another computer war... I just want to share my newest discovery.

My Mac has this fun (albeit somewhat useless, as far as I can tell) program called Photo Booth. I discovered it recently on one of my many "journeys into the unknown" (a.k.a. attempts to figure out all the fun features of my computer). Apparently this lovely little add-on is exactly what it sounds like--a way to take random, spur-of-the-moment photographs from a camera embedded in the computer screen. Both kinda creepy and kinda fun.

See? This is me. Right now.

It's kind of like Skype except for I'm (blessedly?) silent. Neat-o, right? But what's the point? Good question... The way I see it, as I continue to brainstorm and dream about who am I and who I hope to reach, I think it would be helpful if we continue to get to know each other. How can we be a part of a community if we never see each other? Sure, photos are nice, but let's face it--we usually spiff ourselves up for pictures. The above photo is what I look like on a weekday morning when I'm sitting at my computer writing. Bet you didn't know that my hair is naturally curly (I straighten it when I want to be "pretty"). Or that my "daily" make-up is some lip gloss and eyeliner (because without those necessities I'd resemble a corpse).

Bet you didn't know that I like to take twenty-second catnaps when my eyes get tired from staring at the computer screen.

Or that I sometimes get really frustrated with myself and my craptastic writing.

And I bet you never guessed that my favorite flowers are delphiniums and that my garden is resplendent with them right now. Thus, the lovely vase that overlooks my current workspace.

Sadly, these beauties are a few days old and raining cobalt petals on my keyboard. Oh well, there are another thirty or so blooms out back. But I digress...

Here's the deal. I'm going to be using my Photo Booth app from time to time so that I can give my readers a little sneak peek into some of my routines, joys, and frustrations. Just for fun. But I'm not going to be posting photos from my Mac Cam (clever palindrome, don't you think?) on my blog. If you'd like to see the unvarnished, weekday morning me, you'll have to join me on my Facebook Page. I'm not trying to be coy, it's just 100 times easier to upload a quick photo to Facebook than it is to write a whole blog post about it.

Anyway, hope to see you there! And if you have a Mac yourself, I'd love to see you! Dare to let me see the unpolished you???

Your turn: I have to admit that it's not easy for me to post a less-than-perfect photo of myself online. But I believe that there is something so real and beautiful about sharing ourselves (as we are) with others. Are you a bare-it-all sort of person? Or is there some area (many areas?) of your life that you'd rather hide? Dare to share?

Making it happen

2010-06-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

I'm convinced that one of the absolute hardest parts of any creative endeavor is finding the time to allow yourself to be artistic. Let's face it, artistry needs time and space... It's not really something that you can schedule in or force to comply with your daily agenda. I wish that was the case! "Hmmm... looks like I've got an hour and a half midday where I could squeeze in a couple thousand words on my manuscript." Uh, yeah right. It works in theory--until the phone rings, my husband reminds me that the flowers are in desperate need of water, my son wakes up early from his nap, or, worst of all, I sit down with pen in hand and the only thing running through my head is a grocery list of chores and to-do's that I need to get done ASAP.

And yet, sometimes when I have a big block of time set aside, I'm actually not that much more productive. It takes me a while to get into creative mode... It's like easing into frigid water--you know you'll love the swim once you've acclimated yourself to the chill, but it takes a bit of convincing. So, what's a visionary to do?

Over the course of my young and fledgling career, I've learned that no one can tell me what will work best for me. But I'm indebted to everyone who has offered advice and allowed me to apply my own experiences and needs to make that wisdom work for Nicole Baart. To that end, I've come up with an answer to the question that I get asked more than any other: How do you find the time to write? This is my answer, my way of making it happen on a day-to-day basis. My strategies may or may not work for you. But I hope they spark your imagination and help you to come up with even one small way that you can set aside a couple of minutes (maybe more?) every day to indulge your own creativity.

How I find time to write:

1. I daydream. A lot. Maybe even an embarrassing amount. I daydream while I drive, cook, clean, make meals, water plants, and nearly every other "idle" moment of my day. But my daydreams are far from idle. When I was young, I let my mind wander wherever it wanted to, but now that I have books to write and deadlines to meet I keep my imagination under tight rein. In short, I allow myself to daydream about my books. My characters, my setting, plot developments... You get the idea. I think about my writing all day long--and it results in a very clear understanding of my characters and my vision for the book as a whole.

2. I observe. I once saw a t-shirt that said: "Look out, you might end up in one of my books." On the back it read: "And I'll kill you." Not only is the t-shirt hilarious, it's so true. At least, for me it is. (I'd love to own that t-shirt!) I've trained myself to view absolutely every experience, every interaction, every stranger I see on the street as a potential aid for my story. Just today I saw a woman coming out of a local gas station and you can bet your sweet bippy that she'll factor in to the next scene in my book. I'd tell you all about her, but they you'd want to put her in your book, too!

3. I write everything down. Purse-size notepads and pens are this girl's best friends. I keep a supply of writing tools in my purse, my car, and my nightstand. I also carried paper and pens in my diaper bag back in the days when I had to lug around a... Wait a sec. I'll be carrying a diaper bag again real soon, won't I? Well, the pens are going back in it. ;) I can't tell you how helpful it is for me to scribble down even a fragment of an idea. Even though I'm often convinced I could never forget this wonderful image I've just penned in my head, if I don't write it down, chances are it'll disappear. So frustrating...

4. I make myself do it. Though most of my writing happens in my head (while I'm giving my kids a shower, taking the dog for a walk, and emptying the dishwasher), there does come a time when I have to sit down with pen in hand (or laptop in lap) and actually write. When I started writing novels, I would sometimes craft and re-craft the same sentence fifty different ways. I don't do that anymore. Instead, I tell my inner editor to shut up and I just git 'er done. Once it's down on paper I can always go back and edit or finesse. But I can't work with nothing, so I give myself something.

Works for me! What works for you? I'd love to know how you find time to nurture your own creativity--even if your creative outlet is not writing. How do you set aside time for the things you love in the midst of your own busy life?

Your wish is my command!

2010-06-05T08:00:00.004-05:00

Nikolyn asked me in a recent blog comment to post a picture or two of my expanding belly. Well, this one is far from professional, but here you go! As you may or may not know, I am the fairly new owner of a MacBook Pro, and as I learn more and more about my computer, the more I love it! This adorable (Ha!) pic was taken by my Photo Booth, and though I had to lean down to get most of myself in the picture you have a pretty good view of my baby bump. Getting bigger and bigger...! :)

Thankfully, I have a friend who dabbles in photography and she is going to take some more professional pics of our in-utero Baby Baart. I promise to share a few of them at least, but I can't guarantee they'll be any good. Since I have to give myself injections every day, my tummy is a wee bit bruised--we'll have to place hands in strategic places or the photos could be used for a domestic abuse website. Honest to goodness, Aaron has been nothing but wonderful to me!

Anyway, Nikolyn asked, I delivered. Your wish is my command... Any other questions, musings or requests? Leave a comment and I'll do what I can.

Have a lovely weekend!

One more for good measure... :)

Worship

2010-06-03T08:00:00.003-05:00

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

Okay, I'm jumping headfirst into the deep end of a heated, much-debated worship war... But I can't help it. I thought this video was hilarious. And that's saying something, considering that the church I attend doesn't look all that different from the one depicted in this mock trailer.

Yes, I go to a "contemporary" church. And yes, most of the time I love it. But I'm not completely blind to the fact that sometimes modern interpretations of worship can be considered fake and manufactured, more concerned with being culturally relevant than biblically sound. Some of the stereotypes can be true. My husband (the pastor of our church) sports spiky hair, flip-flops on Sunday, and yes, he has a tattoo. But that's him--100%, bona fide Aaron. Never mind the evangelical tag. Or the fact that he preaches nothing but Scripture. And you know what? He laughed his head off at this video. Thought it was a clever satire.

As for people who shake their heads and cluck in disapproval at the sorts of churches that North Point Media pokes fun of, it might be your turn next. The truth of the matter is, all of our churches (traditional and contemporary, liberal and conservative, denominational and non) have shortcomings and--let's face it--failures. We're not perfect. And I'll laugh just as hard at the video the highlights the church of my youth... You know the one. It'll open with a stoic, grim-faced pastor cinching his tie just a little too tight then pan to an equally somber (but well-dressed) congregation of WASPS filing slowly into a church with stained-glass windows and hard-backed pews...

Sorry if that sounds cheeky. I don't mean to insult. I happen to be one of the people who loves both expressions of worship (and everything that falls in between). I adore a great base line as I all but shout out Mighty to Save. But I'd be a liar and a phony if I told you that I don't choke up every time I hear an organ begin the opening chords of one of the old greats: Amazing Grace, When Peace Like a River, Come Thou Fount... And I may belt out praise and worship songs in church, but I sing hymns to my children every night before bed because I can't stand the thought of them growing up not knowing the words to Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.

I'd rather take the best of both worlds than stand on one side of the worship war and fight with my brothers and sisters in Christ. How about you? Where do you fit? Do you find the video funny? Insulting? I'd love to hear what you have to say. And don't worry, if you think I'm an idiot, you can feel free to tell me so. I won't be insulted, but I might laugh. :)

Who are we?

2010-06-01T20:54:00.000-05:00

I have had so much fun getting to know you over the last week or so! I sound kind of pathetic reiterating this again and again, but you are all awesome. Such an amazing group of women... I truly would love to meet up with you all at some spa in the mountains and have long chats over glasses of fine wine and dark chocolate. Anyway, I've been pondering who you are (and who I am) for the last long while, and I've come up with some statements that I feel pretty confident encompass us all. Of course, I could be off, or maybe I'm idealizing or putting too much of myself in the picture, but I'd love to know if you think I'm even close to accurately describing us. I think we rock. And I think we are a unique brand of women--a diverse group of thinkers and feelers, women with big hearts and willing hands, and the ability to look beyond our differences to appreciate the unique qualities we all possess. Wow. You inspire me. So, who are we???

We're creative and artistic in a kaleidoscope of different ways.

We long for purpose and meaning.

We strive to make the world a better place.

We're independent, but we choose to tether ourselves to family and friends, husbands and children.

We're idealistic, but we accept the reality of our own shortcomings.

We're educated and intelligent, but we prefer simplicity and grace over a militant, self-serving agenda.

We are not who you think we are...

We're brilliant, beautiful, and broken.

So, what do you think? Did I capture you, even a little? Is there anything you would add to the description? Anything you'd take away? I'd love to hear what you have to say...

PS - The winner of the giveaway is Sherry! I'm going to be sending you my entire collection of books. Please email me and let me know your address as well as any requests you might have for how the books are signed.

A note of apology

2010-05-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers,

I'm sorry that I did not blog today, and I'm especially sorry that I did not announce the winner of the book giveaway. You see, it was sunny and gorgeous in my neck of the woods... The sort of early summer day when (8 months pregnant or not) I couldn't bring myself to stay cooped up inside with my eyes glued to a computer screen. Instead of flipping open my lovely laptop, I spent the day planting flowers, helping my sons wash their bikes with the garden hose (you can imagine how much "washing" we got done), scrubbing our car seat and stroller in preparation for little Baart Baby, and playing at the pool. Whew. I am exhausted. It's time for me to heave my big baby belly into a cold shower and then off to bed. Nothing in all the world sounds quite so sweet right now as the cool side of my comfy pillow. Mmmm... pillow... Night-night. Sleep tight. I'll blog on Tuesday (have a happy Memorial Day on Monday!) and announce the winner then. Guess that means if you haven't told me a bit about yourself (look back two posts to the one titled Journeying Together) you still have time to participate in the giveaway. As for the rest of you, thanks for understanding. :)

Hugs,
Nicole

Enigmatic

2010-05-27T08:00:00.002-05:00

Thanks so much for all of your responses to Tuesday's post! I can't tell you how fun it is getting to know you... Though I get glimpses of your personalities, your interests, and passions through your comments and emails, it's nice to have the opportunity to flesh you out in my mind. Exciting stuff! I just really do wish I could see you and talk to you face to face.

Anyway, I'm having so much fun that I want to continue in the "getting to know you" vein today. One of the issues that has come up in the author's group I belong to (see Tuesday's post for more info) is the fact that I'm a bit of an enigma. I don't quite fit any stereotypes, and therefore my books are kind of hard to market. Who would like them? Not romance readers, mystery-lovers, or fantasy buffs. But maybe those people would like them... Young people? Old? Somewhere in between? Perhaps people who are passionate about adoption (like I am) will like my books. But I don't handle adoption in my books the way that I approached it in real life. Argh. It's like trying to nail Jell-o to a tree. Slippery and impossible!

Oh well, I've decided that I'm going to embrace my inconsistencies! I like the unexpected and I like being surprised. So, I'm going to share a few of my quirks with you... And I'd love to hear a bit about yours!

I am a small town girl at heart, but I LOVE the city. In fact, while I long for wide open spaces and huge expanses of blue sky, I could easily envision moving back to Vancouver (or Chicago, New York, wherever) at some point in my life. I'm just as comfortable working with large animals on a farm as I am walking the streets of downtown in a pair of heels and a killer suit. Even though I have no use for my beautiful city clothes these days, they still hang in the back of my closet. Someday...
I am both painfully shy and incredibly extroverted. When I was a kindergartner, I was so silent my teacher wondered if I was a selective mute. There are still times that I am nearly paralyzed with fear in social situations. But I can also work a room with the best of them. I'm comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people, and I'm fairly confident about my ability to communicate and express myself clearly. Sometimes it feels like a switch that I can turn on and off. If I flick on the "outgoing" switch, I'm fine in nearly any circumstance. If I forget, all my insecurities rise to the surface and I'm numb with terror.
I am a homebody and an adventurer. Have you seen the cartoon Toot & Puddle (or read the books)? Toot and his brother Puddle are pigs who live together in a beautiful, fantasy house in the middle of a lovely wood. Toot likes to travel and see the world. Puddle likes to stay home. I am half Toot and half Puddle. I would backpack Europe with abandon, but be mildly homesick the entire time.
I take mothering very seriously, but I would be lost without my career. I wish I could be the kind of mom to abandon myself to my children during their formative years. But I need to be working outside of the home in some capacity. It's true, my kids get the bulk of my time and attention, but my career keeps me grounded and sane. Even if I wasn't writing for publication, I would have to be plugged into the professional world in some way. Teaching, developing curriculum, writing for a newspaper or freelance... Anything that would keep my mind engaged and my creativity fresh.

Okay, I've shared four idiosyncrasies with you. It's your turn! Please take a moment to tell me at least one thing about yourself that other people might find enigmatic. I'd love to know I'm not the only one who doesn't fit every stereotype! Oh, and don't forget to leave a short introduction on Tuesday's post. I'll be drawing for a winner on Saturday.

PS - I included photos throughout this post of several of my different sides. The top one was a promo shot my good friend took. She wanted to try and glam me up. ;) The middle one is me "mothering" (or is it smothering?). And the last one was taken when I taught high school. Yup, those are my pajamas. It was pajama day and I took my job very seriously. ;)

Journeying Together

2010-05-25T08:00:00.002-05:00

I've recently joined a small group of fellow authors that is interested in better understanding who we are and who we write for. If you've been reading my blog for a while you know that I've touched on this topic before--most notably when I signed a new book contract with Simon & Schuster and had to give some serious thought to the concept of branding. I'm no expert, but I'm slowly learning... And I'm starting to realize that the better I grasp this, the more meaningful my work will be.

Believe it or not, it's not just about selling books (at least, for me it's not). Of course, that would be a nice side effect, but I am convinced, heart and soul, that we all want to be a part of something that matters. According to Seth Godin in his book Tribes: "People want connection and growth and something new. They want change... We [all] want to belong." Yes! I do! I want my life to make a difference and I want that passion to translate into every area of my being, not just my spirituality or my understanding of good and bad or right and wrong.

This desire for positive change impacts so many areas of my life that sometimes it's hard to pinpoint what I am most passionate about. Some of my most engaging interests are:

Writing. My books are much more than a paycheck for me. They're a way to engage the world around me, to point to beauty in brokenness, and to explore things that I don't fully understand. When I write, I long to engage people in a conversation.
Philanthropy. Our non-profit (One Body One Hope) consumes me. I can totally see the Baart family ending up in Liberia someday, for a much more extended stay than a two week mission trip. I would love to do life with our friends in West Africa.
Motherhood. Before I had kids, I never considered myself the motherly type. But now that I'm a mom to a six-year-old, a three-year-old, and a soon-to-be newborn, I take bringing up children very seriously. My job as a mom takes first place above any of my other pursuits.
Adoption. I've always been drawn to adoption, but now that I'm a bona-fide adoptive mother I'm downright rabid about it. I take seriously the biblical mandate to care for widows and orphans, and I love advocating for the least of these.
Simplicity. With the current recession forcing the entire country to reassess our finances and the extravagant way we live, this doesn't seem like such a unique passion. But living a simple, un-busy life is something I've always longed for. From re-examining the concept of frugality, to getting rid of processed foods in my home and buying local, I believe that contentment can be found in refusing to give in to the lies of our materialistic culture. I hope to continue to explore this idea in the coming months and years.

Okay, these are just a few of my interests and passions. But right now I'm trying to condense all of this information and apply it to my career as an author. I'm trying to answer the following questions: Who reads my books (or would love to read my books if they only knew about them)? And, even more importantly, what can I offer these people? What do we have in common, and what has the potential to draw us closer so that we want to continue journeying together?

I have a couple of questions for you today and I would be so grateful if you would take a moment to answer them!

Question #1: Who are you? Tell me a bit about yourself... Include as much or as little as you want!

Question #2: What are you passionate about? I mentioned five of my pursuits, now what captures your imagination?

*As an added bonus, I'll tie a giveaway into this little exercise. I have a lovely, signed book up for grabs. All you have to do is leave a comment and I'll pick one winner from the bunch. Thanks for reading!

Booksignings

2010-05-22T08:00:00.003-05:00

Do you write? Do you dream of being published someday? You have to watch this video. It's a great dose of reality, served up so funny you won't worry too much about the sad truth of it. If you don't write, do you read? Maybe this video is even more important for you to watch... Love an author. Say hello. You'll make the world a happier place.

Research Trip, Part II

2010-05-20T08:00:00.002-05:00

Yikes, I learned a lot in Alaska. Even as I begin to type this I'm wondering which parts to share with you. I think I could blog for weeks! Just the best, Nic, just the best...

Be Brave

You're looking at a photo of Exit Glacier, taken at 3500 feet from the cockpit of a Cessna 172. To tell you I was scared of flying would be a flat-out lie. I was terrified. I've been researching bush plane accidents and disappearances in Alaska for months now, and let me tell you: a lot of flights go down in Alaska. If that wasn't scary enough, as our pilot, Blair, was calling in our flight plan, the dispatcher with the FAA told him to tune his radio to pick up emergency signals. Apparently a flight had just gone down in the Kenai river. And while we were in the air, a Coast Guard helicopter ran into a snowstorm on the top of a mountain and crashed! The helicopter apparently rolled down the mountain for a while before it stopped. Thankfully, the pilot and co-pilot were okay. However, when we left the tarmac the missing plane on the Kenai river had still not been recovered. Talk about scary. But I did it! I flew! And I'm so glad I did... Oh, I also ate moose burgers and reindeer sausage while I was in Alaska. Also very brave of me. ;)

Ask Questions (Lots of Them!)

See that little strip of land in between the water of the Cook Inlet? Guess what? It's not land. Nor is it sand, which I was quite sure it was. It looked so inviting during low tide that Aaron and I were planning to go for a little walk along the beach... But I'm glad we didn't. Apparently, the soft beach we were so convinced would be perfect for strolling along was really the beginning of the mudflats. As viscous and unstable as quicksand, the mudflats are extremely dangerous and can gobble up an unsuspecting tourist before the Coast Guard has a chance to pull you out! Creepy... And incredibly important to the unfolding of my story. Who knew? Thankfully, we learned about the mudflats within the first day of being in Alaska. My newfound knowledge taught me two things: 1.) Don't walk on the mudflats. 2.) Assume you know nothing. Ask questions about everything. So I did. I probably sounded like an idiot, but I learned so much. What's this? What's that? Why is that moose in someone's backyard? Is reindeer meat really made of reindeer? Why do Alaskans drink so much coffee? What's a snow machine? And on and on and on...

Document Everything & Take Pictures (even of things that don't seem important...)

I took this photo on the pier in Seward because I thought it was cute. But I'm already starting to realize that all the little details I didn't consider important at the time are going to add a depth and authenticity to my story that I could have never acheived by simply researching Alaska online. From the Heart Attack on a Plate and the Veggie Bypass (breakfast platters at Snow City Cafe in downtown Anchorage) to my little evergreen friend, the intricacies of life in Alaska are what is going to make my story feel real. The story truly is in the details and I'm so excited that I was able to experience so much during my time in Alaska.

Your turn: The lesson I took most to heart during my Alaskan research tour was be brave. For the sake of my story I hopped into scenarios that I normally would avoid like the plague. But it was so good for me (in so many ways)! My question for you today is: Does your story require you to be brave? To go somewhere you've never gone? Deal with an emotion you'd rather avoid? Forgive someone you'd like to simply forget? I'd love to know if you're being pushed right now and how you're responding to it.

Research Trip, Part I

2010-05-18T08:00:00.001-05:00

So I just got back from Alaska! What an adventure... If space is the final frontier, Alaska is the last true wild frontier. Wow, it's a different world up there. From the midnight sun to the hearty, friendly people, Alaska was truly like no place I've ever been. It would take me weeks to sum up our experiences in Anchorage and beyond, but I'm going to try to condense it all this week into a series of photos and tidbits of wisdom I gleaned. This was my first true research trip, and the learning curve was harsh. But also thoroughly enjoyable--I'm already looking forward to the next time my research takes me somewhere unexpected. (Aaron is hoping for Tahiti or the south of France. Think I could set a book there?)

Without further ado, research nuggets from the Last Frontier.

Soak it in.
Smell it, feel it, observe it, listen to it, drink it up. Aaron was so patient with me--even when I insisted we pull over every five minutes so I could get a feel for Alaska from a hundred different perspectives. I wanted to experience the wind and the rain, the sun and the dark (though dark is a relative term in Alaska in May), and everything in between. Believe it or not, I did not take pen and paper and try to capture these experiences. Instead, I engaged them fully, living in the moment, and later (when I had time to pop in a coffee shop or relax during some downtime in our hotel) I released everything I could on the page. It was interesting in retrospect to see how I remembered each event and what stuck out in my mind as important. I think I waded through a lot of the initial junk that would have cluttered up my mind if I wrote as I was "in it."

Meet the natives.
This is a photo of me, my pilot Blair, and the Cessna 172 that we took over Resurrection Bay surrounding Seward. Our good friends, Josh and Jessica, were gracious enough to introduce us to a host of amazing people that regaled us with stories of life in Alaska. Ken, Fred, and Blair are just a few of the people we met, but I cannot begin to tell you how much they influenced the trajectory of my book. The stories they told and the wisdom they shared will play a huge role in the unfolding of my tale. I hope that I can do justice to the tidbits of life that they so graciously blessed me with.

Have an open mind.
Before we went to Alaska, I thought I had a pretty good idea of where my story was going. I knew where my pilot would take-off from, and I knew how his tale would unfold. Several days in Alaska uprooted many of my well-laid plans! For example, the town of Seward wasn't even on my radar--until I went there and realized that it was the absolute perfect setting for part of my book. And who knew that Resurrection Bay, a deep bay on the Kenai Peninsula would play a significant role? Honestly, I didn't even know it existed. At first, it was a little unnerving to watch some of the details of my story unravel, but I'm glad that I was able to hold my intentions loosely--the book is going to be much, much stronger for it.

Stay tuned on Thursday for more research insights (and more of my Alaska photos)! :)

Your turn: What is something you've learned in researching for a book or story?

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake

2010-05-15T08:00:00.002-05:00

Here's the recipe I promised! One of my all-time favorites. :) Usually I make the cake from scratch, but you can just as easily bake it from a box. When I'm pressed for time I like something really rich and dark like Devil's Food or Dark Chocolate Fudge. I don't recommend German Chocolate or something similarly sweet or too light with this decadent recipe.

Have a great weekend!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake

1 dark chocolate cake, baked according to directions in two round pans
peanut butter cups

Filling:

1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups confectioners' sugar
salt to taste

-Blend butter and peanut butter until creamy. Add sugar and beat until fluffy. If desired, add salt pinch by pinch until it tastes perfect.

Frosting:

3 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup butter (not margarine!)
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/3 cup evaporated milk
1 tsp. vanilla
dash of salt

-Melt butter and add vanilla. Sift cocoa and sugar togehter. Add dry mixture to melted butter bit by bit. When the frosting becomes too thick, begin to slowly add evaporated milk. Beat until smooth and creamy. Again, add salt if needed.

To assemble the cake, place one round cake on a serving platter. Top with all of the peanut butter filling. Layer second round cake on top. Frost the entire cake, and garnish with chopped peanut butter cups.

Have a God Day

2010-05-13T08:00:00.001-05:00

My kindergartner is a budding linguist. Of course, my husband thinks our firstborn is bound to be a pastor--the sort of wordsmith who spins lyrical stories and inspires multitudes from behind a pulpit. (Which is kind of ironic because I can't remember the last time Aaron stood behind a pulpit to preach...) And I'd like to imagine that our son is going to be a novelist, a writer whose talent far exceeds my own. But for now, our sweetheart is learning big words like evaporation, incubator, and vocabulary. Not to mention the fine art of stringing letters together to make much smaller (but infinitely more satisfying to spell) words. The best part? He leaves letters for us all over the house.

Hi Mom, I love you.

Dear Dad. How are you?

And my personal favorite: Hi Mom, I hope you have a God day.

The first time he wrote that particular note, I was tempted to tell him that he had it wrong. That it was "have a good day", with a double O instead of just one. But he was already finishing up his second letter, and that one also exhorted my husband to have a "God day." (Believe it or not, he even capitalized the G.) All at once I couldn't help but love the so-called mistake.

Sometimes I have good days. Every once in a while I have a bad day. Most of my days are pretty normal. Fine. Okay. Average. But I love the idea that no matter what sort of a day I have, it is always a God day. And it is, no matter where my heart or mind happen to be. I love it when God uses my kids to remind me of a basic truth, something I may have forgotten because I don't often take the time to pay attention to the small things.

I haven't corrected him. And our house is filled with letters that remind us to "have a God day." I wish you the same.

Taking Risks: Character

2010-05-11T08:00:00.001-05:00

One of the most interesting sessions that I went to at the Festival of Faith and Writing was called Taking Risks and Cultivating Compassion Through Fiction Writing. Stephanie Kallos is an actress and author whose second book, Sing Them Home was chosen by Entertainment Weekly as one of the best books of 2009. But her first book is the one that caught my attention...

Some of you may remember that I had title troubles with my third book, The Moment Between. I wanted to call the book Broken for You, but someone had already used that title. Grrr. It's true, I harbored a little bitterness toward this unknown author. But when I met her after her fascinating session at the FFW, I just had to go out and buy her book! Stephanie Kallos has written a masterpiece in Broken for You. And she's a wonderful lady, too. Who knew I'd get to shake the hand of the very woman I resented for "stealing" my perfect title?

Anyway, Ms. Kallos session drew heavily on her acting background to draw out nuance and depth in crafting character. There are several gems I gathered from this presentation. Since they're pretty self-explanatory, I'm just going to list some of her tidbits of wisdom.

In a character's life, there is no entrance or exit. Therefore, you (as an author) have to choose what to frame and what to leave out of the story. As you write, never forget that the life of your character began before you picked up the story, and will continue long after the last page.

You must find common ground with your character, even if you don't agree with his or her choices. You cannot stand outside the story and judge them--you have to "walk a mile in their shoes" and learn to empathize with whatever they are going through. Where the commonality stops (between you and your character), you need to start asking yourself, "What if?" This is where writing begins.

Remember that there is a life-affirming reason for every character you create--even if it is small or hard to identify. If not, why create the character at all?

Before you can get to know your character (before you can ask that all-important question (What if?), you have to know who you are.

For the rest of the presentation, Ms. Kallos walked us through some exercises in understanding self and using that information to expand our characters. We started with a generic list of self-stats: age, height, weight, gender, appearance, etc. After a couple of minutes we expanded our list to include important relationships. Then adjectives describing ourselves. When our adjective list contained several elements, we wrote the opposite of every descriptor we came up with (i.e. dependable became unreliable, driven turned into lazy, etc.). Eventually, we wrote a set of "I would never..." statements (I would never eat..., wear..., see..., do..., have the career..., etc.). The final exercise was to write a paragraph from the perspective of our opposite. We were encouraged to let go of the "nevers" (the things we listed we would never do) by putting our characters in danger. What would cause us to do the thing we said we'd never do?

Of course, many of the things that Ms. Kallos said are not new. I've heard all this before... But there was something so fresh in the way she presented it, that I found myself looking at my characters through totally new eyes. I'm excited to apply some of her wisdom to my next book--already I've discovered things about my main character that are stretching me as an author and as a person.

Your Turn: Do any of Ms. Kallos suggestions ring true to you? Is any of her advice new or unexpected? I'd love to hear what you think about her approach to crafting character!

Book Winner

2010-05-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

I just plugged the numbers into a random generator and the 5th person who entered the Lucky Baby giveaway is our official winner... Congrats to Miriam Buss! Miriam, your book is on its way. ;)

In other news, I'm sorry about this random week. I have not kept to my regular blogging schedule, but I've had a very good explanation (excuse?). The week has been nuts. But it's over (or almost over) and I'm officially in unwind mode. Which is kind of good and kind of bad because Aaron and I leave for Alaska soon! I'm excited, but I have lots to do before we take off. Isn't that always the case?

Anyway, things will be back to normal next week with a Tuesday post on the writing life, a personal post on Thursday, and a just-for-the-fun-of-it post on Saturday. I'm thinking of sharing my peanut butter cup chocolate cake recipe. I've been dreaming about it lately, and maybe posting the recipe will encourage me to bake one for myself. Yup, you read that right: for myself. I might eat the whole thing.

Have a lovely weekend, wherever you may be!

Interview with Meredith Efken

2010-05-03T20:00:00.007-05:00

Back with more Meredith! Enjoy... :)

1. Do you love to write? Or is is a chore/occupation/obligation?

Oh I LOVE to write! It's my favorite thing to do in the whole world--until I sit down with my computer. Then I spend several minutes utterly loathing the written word while I'm staring at that horrid blinking cursor. Eventually, I start writing something, anything, and am convinced it's complete schlock. But then later, I read back over it, and discover it's not actually half-bad. And then I LOVE writing again.

2. What do you do when you get writer's block?

Well, I can tell everyone what NOT to do. When I was writing LUCKY BABY, and got a pretty bad case of writer's block, I self-medicated with those big chocolate chunk cookies from Starbucks. I got the book written, but I currently have three really cute pairs of jeans I can't wear anymore!

The other thing I did, which I DO recommend, was working with a creativity coach. My coach is Judy Baer, and she's a multi-published, bestselling author of like a million books or something, and she's specially trained as a life coach, especially for us creative types. She was able to help me get over the creative block and rediscover my passion for my story.

Unfortunately, not even she could coach away the cookies!

3. Your new book is in the vein of Sarah Addison Allen's Garden Spells. What made you interested in magical realism?

This was one of the best things that came out of my coaching sessions with Judy. I was at a point with LUCKY BABY where I felt like I was losing creative control over my work. Plus, the subject of adoption was so deeply personal to me that I was paralyzed by my own expectations. I wanted to show how miraculous and "magical" that adoption journey was, and I didn't know how to put that into mundane, everyday words.

At the same time, I'd started reading Garden Spells and some of Alice Hoffman's stories. I loved how they wove the fantastic right into the fabric of everyday life. To me, it was a perfect vehicle to show the reality and the mystical aspects of the adoption journey. So when I started incorporating that into the book, it was a huge breakthrough and made the story come alive for me. It gave me back my excitement about the story.

I had such fun with it that I'm planning to write some more books in that general style. To me, it's a perfect way of conveying how the world of faith and the unseen intersect and impact the world we can see and touch. It resonates with me in a way I hadn't expected, and I'm very excited to explore it further.

4. What do you do to unwind?

I LOVE hanging out at bookstores--that's actually my husband's and my favorite date place. Funny thing is, I tend not to do a very good job of self-promoting my books, so up until very recently, the bookstore employees knew me so well they could order my drink for me, but they had no idea they could order my books!

I also really like getting pedicures. Now, if I could just get a pedicure WHILE at the bookstore, that might just be my idea of heaven! :-)

5. Take a moment to shamelessly plug your new book!

This is an adoption story like no other. It's not a "baby coming home" fairy tale, but there IS some fantastical elements in it. It's not a story about a child seeking a birthmother--although there are actually two birthmothers in the story. (One is obvious. The other, you will have to search for and you may not find her. And don't ask me, because I'm not telling.) It's not about an adoption gone sour, although it does have some serious conflicts in it.

At it's core, LUCKY BABY is about overcoming abandonment and the miracle of loving despite pain. It's about a group of people who have no reason to love each other at all, and their journey to become a family that can survive no matter what. There's an American woman trying to become a mother, while still hampered by the effects of her stormy past with her own mother. There's a precocious, brilliant Chinese orphan who can't allow herself to trust, but has no choice but depend on others because she is going blind. And there are loving Chinese foster parents who are bound by their culture and family expectations and doing all they can within those constraints to make a difference for the orphans they love.

It's a story of overcoming all these odds and finding the courage to forgive and then to love, no matter what.

The general subject matter, adoption from China, was inspired by my own experience of adopting a child from China. But while I've drawn on my own experiences, and those of other adoptive families, it is completely fictional and NOT auto-biographical. But it's emotionally authentic and real, and I think by the end, it will make you feel alive and hopeful, and help you believe again in all those things we can't see but know must be there.

Your Turn: I love Meredith's answer to the question, What do you do when you get writer's block? Her response is totally original--no one has ever suggested getting a creativity coach to me! Honestly, I didn't even know they existed. :) Anyway, it got me thinking... Maybe you have a fabulous, new way to deal with the age-old problem of writer's block. Care to share??? Also, don't forget to leave a comment on Saturday's post for a chance to win Meredith's new book, Lucky Baby!

Meredith Efken

2010-05-01T21:13:00.000-05:00

Remember how I used to do a mid-month introduction and giveaway? Well, that kind of went by the wayside when I added some structure to my blog, but I believe I told you that I would continue to introduce you to some amazing authors and host giveaways from time to time...

Well, today I have the privilege to spend some time raving about the beautiful and talented Meredith Efken! She has graciously agreed to speak at our One Body One Hope Women's Night Out, and this weekend felt like the perfect time to gush about her a bit. (BTW, if you live in the area, it's not too late to get tickets! It's going to be an amazing evening... Grab some girlfriends, your mother, daughter, grandmother, or a bunch of complete strangers and join us for a night of fun, door prizes, desserts, and entertainment! Email me for more info or to buy tickets.)

Since Meredith's online bio sums her up so well, I'm going to borrow from her website to tell you a bit about her...

Meredith is the author of the critically acclaimed SAHM I Am series that traces the friendship of a group of stay-at-home mothers through their emails to each other. She has been a finalist for the Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice award and the ACFW Book of the Year award, and critics use phrases like “charming,” “fresh,” and “pure delight” to describe her humorous yet insightful comedies.

In her “spare” time, she and her husband enjoy learning Argentine tango and hanging out at the local bookstore. She studies Chinese and Welsh on a semi-random basis and plays keyboard and sings with her church’s worship band. She and her husband have two lively daughters, one very naughty snowshoe cat and one stately and somewhat naughty Great Dane. They all live in a ramshackle Victorian fixer-upper in Nebraska.

Don't you just love her already? I adore a lady with a sense of humor and the patience to put up with a Great Dane. Somehow it seems those two things go hand in hand... ;)

Meredith's latest release is a bit of a departure for her as is deals with something very near and dear to her heart: international adoption. Lucky Baby also breaks new literary ground, exploring the relatively new sub-genre of magical realism. Though I haven't yet finished the book, I'm finding it impossible to put down. The prose is gorgeous, and Meredith explores parenthood and family ties with a tender, gifted touch.

From the back cover copy:

All Meg Lindsay wants is to give a child the love and acceptance she wished she’d been given. When she talks her reluctant husband into adopting a Chinese orphan, she expects her dream to come true. But becoming a parent has a way of opening up painful doors from the past, and it’s all Meg can do to hold her new little family together. What started as a good intention could destroy her marriage and her family, especially if the daughter they’ve grown to love abandons them, too.

Meg’s journey is a magical one as East meets West and imagination aligns with reality. Lucky Baby takes the reader on a realistic yet mystical journey into the complexities of family life.

Guess what? Meredith is going to give y'all a chance to win her new book! All you have to do is leave a comment... But, of course we have to make it interesting. If you want your name entered in the giveaway once, leave a comment. Two entries will be given to anyone who spreads the news about Meredith and our giveaway (feel free to Tweet, post it on Facebook, talk it up on your blog, or anything else you can think up). And I'll enter your name three times if you become a follower of this blog, or join me on Facebook. I know, I know, I'm being shameless. It's a rare day when I'm so forward.

Leave a comment and win a book! And stop back on Monday when I'll be taking a little break from passing on my Festival of Faith and Writing wisdom and post an interview with Meredith Efken. She's a hoot. :)

Have a lovely Sunday!

Woo-hoo!

2010-04-29T08:00:00.001-05:00

This is me, jumping for joy!

Well, not quite. I'm bigger and wider and rounder right now, and not really capable of jumping at all. Not that I've tried it. But I'm pretending that this girl is jumping in my stead, since I can't do any of the other traditional celebratory things either. No uncorking a bottle of bubbly for me. Or shouting my joy from the rooftops (though it would be pretty hilarious to watch me try to get up there in my rotund state). My celebration is going to be a quiet affair today. I might sleep. Actually, that sounds like pure heaven...

Why am I so thrilled, you ask? Because... my book is done! Hip-hip-hooray! The major edits are complete and I'm just sifting through the final tweaks. It's a leisurely job, something I really enjoy doing because it allows me to sit back and enjoy the fruit of my labors. And let me tell you, every book is a labor. Sure, a labor of love, but also a labor like childbirth--long, hard, painful, and frustrating. Yup, there even comes a point partway through where you wish you had never gotten yourself into this mess in the first place. Or you need to blame someone: You did this to me! But, oh, the joy when you're done... All the suffering that you had to go through to get to that final period is suddenly a thing of the past. What suffering? This book is a masterpiece!

And that's where I'm at right now. I love this book. I'm crazy about Julia and her fantastic family. I'm sad to say goodbye. But everything is ending on a good note, and I'm very satisfied with where my trio of Julia books have taken me. I hope you do, too.

Stay tuned! I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about my third Julia story in the coming weeks and months. I might even need you to help me choose a title. I'm so bad at titles...

Thanks for letting me happy dance all over my blog!

Wisdom from Wally Lamb

2010-04-27T08:10:00.000-05:00

So last week y'all freaked out that I went to a social media concurrent session instead of listening to Wally Lamb. Well, the good news about a conference like the Festival of Faith and Writing is that most of the speakers present more than once. So... I did get a chance to hear Wally Lamb speak. And he was wonderful.

The title of his talk was There but for the Grace of God. It was entertaining, filled with humble wisdom, and sprinkled with stories from his own life and experiences. I like to take notes when I attend sessions like this, but I have to admit that my scribbles from Wally's speech are few and far between. I doodled a lot. Which does not mean I was bored. Quite the opposite, actually. Are there any doodlers out there? Often the more my pen moves, the more I'm absorbing. Seems counter-intuitive, but it works for me. That's why I allowed my high school students to doodle in my classes (as long as they left their drawings behind when the bell rang).

Thankfully, in spite of my incessant doodling, I did get down three important gems from Wally's talk. I believe they're worth sharing.

1. Don't write for an audience, write for yourself.
This was an interesting statement for me to hear because it seems like lately people seem much more concerned with pacifying an audience. Gathering a tribe. Building a platform. You get the drift. But Wally suggested that if you aren't writing something that touches you deeply, that inflames your passion or makes you feel something at your very core, you might as well quit before you start. Makes sense to me. And yet I can't help believing that his assertion is only a part of the whole. If I only wrote for myself, my books would be long, rambling tomes that lean heavily toward the sickeningly literary, flowery prose-ish, "deep" stories about love and longing and loss. Gag. I write what I'm passionate about, but I do try to keep an audience in mind. If I didn't, the only brain that would be even remotely edified by my writing would be my own.

What do you think? Write for an audience? Or write for yourself?

2. You will never tell a completely original story.
Of course, I've heard this before, and it always leaves me with mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm comforted that "there is nothing new under the sun." We are all a part of this universal story, this beautiful narrative that began with the breath of God and will end with the same. But the thought that I'll never tell a completely original story also makes me a little sad. I realize that my books will always be my own because they will bear the mark of my individuality, but wouldn't you just love to tell something shocking? Unexpected? Fresh? I would. And maybe that's part of the allure of being an author for me: the constant, relentless, exciting search for something that feels like a discovery.

Do you long to tell an original story? Why or why not?

3. When you write, you must move beyond yourself.
People want to read books about heros, about people who are searching for answers, for truth, for something bigger and better around the next bend. And in order for that hero to find what he's looking for, he has to leave home. Therefore, in order for you to help your hero find what he's looking for, you have to leave home. You have to move beyond yourself! Look at life from another perspective. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Experience something you've never experienced before. What a great thought! And yet, I've often been told to write what you know. I think I do both. I hope I do both.

Do you move beyond yourself when you write? Or do you write what you know?

Your turn: I'm still chewing on Wally's advice, and I'd love to hear what you have to say. Pick one of his suggestions (or all three!) and respond to the question I posed.

For Sale

2010-04-24T08:00:00.001-05:00

What a whirlwind week it has been! God moves in such mysterious ways...

If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you might have realized that the Baarts have been house-hunting for a couple of years now. It's not that we don't love our home--quite the opposite! I think we're so attached to our sweet, little Cape Cod that nothing we look at quite compares. Or justifies the price difference.

Until now. On Monday an opportunity was thrown in our laps. We weren't even looking for it... On Tuesday we looked at the house. On Wednesday we made an offer. And on Thursday, they accepted it! Yeeps! Of course, there are contingencies (like selling our own home). But if all goes as planned, we are finally moving after six beautiful years in a house that has truly been blessed. We love this place. I get choked up just thinking about it. Yet even as I type, Baby Baart is doing his kick-kick-kickity thing and I know that this is the right move for us.

Say a little prayer that the right family finds our home! We pray that they're out there, and that they'll love this place as much as we do. Not likely, but wouldn't that be grand?

A few pics of our lovely home...

Call to Action

2010-04-22T08:00:00.002-05:00

Thursday is the day I talk about more personal stuff. And though I could share about my rapidly progressing pregnancy (I'm in my third trimester!), my growing kids (we just registered our three-year-old for bilingual preschool), or my house woes (we're outgrowing our sweet, little Cape Cod), I'm going to steer clear of that tangle and take a few moments today to talk about an exciting event in the history of our non-profit, One Body One Hope.

As you may remember, we are in the midst of an aggressive capital campaign for the Liberian orphanage we support. Our goal is to raise $50,000 by the beginning of July for a second dormitory, a drinkable water line, a latrine, a security wall, a truck, steel doors and windows, new bunk beds, and more. The tally so far is at the $30,000 mark. Exciting stuff! We're getting there! And during the week of May 2-8, we have the special opportunity to get much closer.

An anonymous donor has gifted us with a matching donation of up to $5,000. If we raise $5,000 during the week of May 2-8, our donor will match that amount. $10,000 in one week! How cool is that? We're doing a couple of things to spread the word...

1.) A Mother's Heart Benefit: On Wednesday, May 5, we will be holding our first ever One Body One Hope Benefit. If you're a woman living in the tri-state area, we invite you to join us at Trinity Christian Reformed Church in Rock Valley at 6:30pm. There will be a dessert buffet, some live music, a presentation about One Body One Hope, and an amazing speaker. Meredith Efken is going to be joining us! We couldn't be more excited. Tickets are $5 and can be purchased by emailing juliemvr@hotmail.com.

2.) Facebook Challenge: In case you didn't know, One Body One Hope now has a Facebook Causes page. Since we are a registered non-profit, we can receive online donations through Pay-Pal. In the next few weeks, we are going to challenge our Facebook followers to give $5 to the cause. It's a tiny amount, but if everyone does it (or feels led to give more!) we could raise $580. Double that amount thanks to our donor, and suddenly $1,160 is no laughing matter. I encourage you to join our cause on Facebook and give up your latte for just one day. Princess, Lovette, Amos, Benjamin, Quessay, and Immanuel will thank you. Of course, so will the rest of the kids at the orphanage. :)

3.) Spread the Word Initiative: We want to raise awareness about One Body One Hope! Even if you can't come to our Benefit or give at this time, we would be so thrilled if you would spread the word. Many of you have blogs, Twitter accounts, Facebook accounts, or other social networking avenues. We'd be honored if you'd take a minute to link us up and let your friends know about our ministry. If you are willing to do this, please leave a comment after this post! I'll randomly draw from everyone who leaves a comment and send one lucky winner a One Body One Hope t-shirt, calendar, and some of our handmade, goat-milk soaps. It's a pretty fabulous package.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Your prayers and support mean the world to me...

FFW: Social Networking

2010-04-20T08:00:00.003-05:00

As you may or may not know, I spent three days last week in Grand Rapids, Michigan at the Festival of Faith and Writing. Wow. Words cannot describe... Three days of total immersion into every aspect of writing: creativity, faith, discipline, editing, promotion, networking, and on and on. I'm still reeling, but in a good way. I learned so much. And since I spend every Tuesday focusing on some aspect of writing or the publishing world, I've decided that I'm going to take the next several Tuesdays and share the best of the best of the information I gleaned from these amazing sessions. It'll be like you're there! Minus all the fabulous authors, the face-to-face contact, the buzz of excitement... Sorry about that. Oh, and it will also be minus pictures because I forgot to take my camera! What an idiot.

Today I'm going to talk about the first concurrent session I attended. It was called Facebook Revolution: How Writers Can Use Social Media to Build Their Readership. The panel was absolutely fantastic and consisted of: Jason Boyett (author and blogger), Greg Daniel (agent), Kelly Hughes (publicist), Jana Riess (editor, freelance writer, and reviewer), and Lisa Samson (author). Take a moment to check them out!

As you can tell by the title alone, this session was all about the thing I hate most: publicity. That's why I went. I figured it would be good for me. Why attend an interview with Wally Lamb or enjoy hearing Ed Dobson wax poetic on radical faith when you can learn all about successful strategies for narcissistic self-promotion? Okay, I'm being cheeky. Like I said, the panel and information were great... My publicity hang-ups are my own. The truth is, I learned a lot.

According to Kelly Hughes, social media is all about: presence, engagement, and authenticity. In this technological age, you need to use the tools at your disposal--more importantly, you need to get to know your potential audience and learn what they want and need. According to the panel, if you're not engaging your audience on-line, you've already lost the battle. Though I hate to hear those words, I can attest to their truth. Not too long ago, I heard about a book that really grabbed my attention. I eagerly went on-line to find out more about the book and the author. Much to my dismay, she didn't have a website. I felt cheated, and didn't buy the book. Honestly, if she would have had a website and an entertaining blog, she easily could have turned me into a fan for life. And I'm a fiercely loyal fan...

All the same, I'll admit that after an hour of listening to these bright, engaging people speak, I was tempted to crawl into a hole and stay there. Not that I'm such an introvert. In fact, I'm quite extroverted. But even after all these years I still cringe at the thought of "hawking my wares" (i.e. myself). It's just not something that I can get used to. So, where does this all leave me?

Right back where I started... As much as I enjoyed the session, after several days of mulling it over I've decided that I still need to be true to myself. Maybe I'd get more followers on my blog, friends on my Facebook page, or people who will buy my books if I start a Twitter account. But I'll also have less time with my boys, less time to write, and less respect for myself. Not that there is anything wrong with Twitter. But if I did it, it wouldn't be because I want to or because I feel compelled to do so. It would be because someone once told me that it would help me build a platform. Frankly, I don't want to build a platform. I want to write books. Good books. Books that people will hopefully love. And yes, I realize that no one is going to buy my books if I'm not actively participating in publicity. But I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. I like blogging. I like updating my Facebook page. I like meeting people. And I'd like to think that God is going to have his way with my life and my books--whether or not I turn into the Queen of Self Promotion. Which isn't going to happen. I'm content to live in the balance.

Your Turn: If you write, how do you feel about the prospect of self-promotion? And if you're a reader, how engaged do you like your authors to be? Is it a turn-off when authors seem to constantly be self-promoting?

Bedtime Conversations

2010-04-17T08:00:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week I was tucking my three-year-old into bed. We were laying nose to nose, enjoying a few minutes of precious snuggle time. (He's a toddler--he doesn't usually do the snuggle thing. I have to wrestle him for a hug.) Anyway, we were exchanging kisses. Butterfly kisses, Eskimo kisses, cheek-to-cheek kisses, you name it. Oh, how I love my boys' bedtime! This particular night was pure bliss. Until...

Toddler: Mom?

Me: Yeah, Honey?

Toddler: Will you pick my nose?

Me: What? No. Absolutely not. I'm not going to pick your nose.

Toddler: Why not?

Me: Because that's yucky. If you have to blow your nose, use a tissue. Do you have to blow your nose?

Toddler: No. I just want you to pick it.

Me: NO.

Toddler: (playing with my hand) Your fingers are too big. They won't fit in my nose.

Me: You're right. See? I can't pick your nose.

Toddler: (sticking his finger in my nose out of the blue) But my fingers are little. I can pick your nose!

Oh, joy. My own personal gold digger. ;)

Your turn: Have your kids wowed you with any doozies lately? I'd love to know I'm not the only mother whose son is obsessed with bodily functions... (Including but not limited to: belches, farts, boogies, ear wax, toe lint, and belly button fuzz. This is also the child who waves goodbye to his poopy, sighing "there goes all my hard work" when he flushes the toilet. His father and I are very proud.)

Makin' the Switch...

2010-04-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

So it's official. After years of wondering and months of plotting and planning... I'm a Mac Girl. We've been waiting for the new Mac computers to come out, and when IBM announced their updated line on Tuesday, we were ready. Actually, Aaron was ready...

He came home after work with a new backpack for me. A computer backpack since I get such a shoulder ache from lugging around my four-year-old (and 40 pound) IBM Thinkpad. I was ecstatic about the backpack, but when he settled in on my shoulders I realized that it was too heavy to be empty. Aaron told me that my old computer was in the case, and since I needed to get some work done I opened the pack to find... my new computer! He bought one of the last three "old" models in the store for a deep discount. How cool is that? Apparently, the guys at the Mac store told him that the last of the old models would be gone by the time they closed that night. Yikes. People like their Macs.

So... Is it all it's cracked up to be? We'll see. So far, I love it. It's user-friendly, the screen is backlit and crystal clear, and it automatically converted my old files. Cool. I'm still figuring many things out, and I'm sure I will be for a long time to come. And right now I miss some of my IBM standbys--like my little "Page Up" and "Page Down" keys. Boo. But learning curve aside, I'm ready to kiss the blue screen of death goodbye. I was actually just having a moment with my old computer when an illegal operation was performed and it shut down my current work in progress. Grrrr. That would explain why I'm writing this post on my new Mac...

Your turn: IBM or Mac??? Why?

Continuing Ed

2010-04-13T09:43:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday's post was all about research, what I would consider to be one of the toughest parts of writing. I'm all flash and glitter, creativity and fun. When I write I like to feel it, which is about as artsy-fartsy a statement as you could make. Yup, I am that woman. That wide-eyed, believes-in-magic, soul-searching artist. I'm okay with that. I've come to grips with the fact that my wanton creativity means I cringe at words like: deadline, research, publicity, and synopsis. But my bold artistic streak means I also adore words like: refresh, renew, and connect. And that's exactly what I get to do this week.

Tomorrow I'm hopping on a jet plane bound for Grand Rapids, Michigan where I'll be attending the Festival of Faith and Writing. If you've never been to the Festival, run, don't walk, to the nearest calendar and put a big X on April of 2012. Yeah, I'm sorry to say that registration is closed this year, and the Festival won't happen again until 2012. Bummer, eh? But that doesn't mean you shouldn't eagerly anticipate your chance to go... It's that good.

Why is it so good? Hmmm... It's hard to quantify what I learn at the Festival. More than anything I suppose it's an opportunity to connect with other authors and be inspired. It's a time to celebrate creativity, explore diversity, and expand my literary horizons. I come away from the festival feeling like a different person--a better author, a more informed reader, an artist who is better able once again to make that ever-present connection between my art and my God. How could they ever be divided? And yet, sometimes they are.

I'm convinced that the Festival of Faith and Writing (and others like it) are the author's form of continuing ed. When I was a teacher we were required to attend Professional Development (Pro-D) Days. There were classes to complete, courses to take, and new methodologies to learn. Most careers have some form of continuing ed built right into their very fabric. But as an author, no one requires me to take classes on my craft. It's something I elect to do on my own because I always want to be growing and developing as a writer. And I believe that all writers need to seek out these opportunities...

So, off to the Festival I go! Hooray! I'll blog about it next week since I have posts ready to go for the rest of this week. I promise pictures. And I promise I'll try to condense the best of the best from these days away and share it all with you.

Your turn: If you write, what do you do to keep your craft fresh and vibrant? Or, how do you keep your passion alive in any (and every) area of your life? If you're a stay-at-home mom, what refreshes you? What encourages you to be a better mom? What about if you're a photographer, a secretary, a student? What constitutes continuing ed in your life?

Baby Baart

2010-04-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

Here is our wee one at 25-26 weeks and nearly 2 pounds. I know I'm the mommy, but WOW. Aren't ultrasounds cool?!?

Stitches

2010-04-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

My oldest son is six and a half years old. Since he's a typical boy (part superhero, part wild child, and part animal), you'd think that the Baarts would be old pros at the ER thing. Never mind the fact that our second son is the three and a half year old equivalent of Evil Knievel. Between the two of them and the years we've been parenting, we should have accumulated a long list of hospital visits, broken bones, and stitches. But we haven't. In fact, far from it.

We've never been to the ER. Our sons were not sick once this year. Yup, you read that right: not once. No colds, flus, or sinus infections. No broken arms, accidents, or bumps on the head. In fact, as far as we know our youngest has never once had a fever. Amazing, isn't it?

Well, you knew it was only a matter of time... Our baby got stitches last night. Three of them on his brow bone. The worst part? It was my fault.

In the ER last night:

Doctor: What happened, Buddy?

My Son: I wan into da banis-tuh.

Doctor: The banister?

My Son: Uh-huh.

Doctor: Why did you run into the banister?

My Son: Because my mommy said I had to go upstairs and pick up my toys. I didn't want to, but she made me.

Oh! The mommy-guilt! I'm tempted to never make him pick up his toys again. But then again, he's pretty proud of his Frankenstien stripes. Scars are cool, right? I'm just hoping that this one trip was an anomaly... Please, Lord, let this not be a growing trend in the Baart house.

Your turn: Tell me about your best ER visit! I got stitches when I was three, and apparently my dad almost passed out in the procedure room. The doctor made him go sit outside. :)

Research

2010-04-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Tuesday!

As I promised, today kicks off the new format for my blog. Since I like mornings, the start of the week, and new beginnings, it makes sense for me to blog about "work" on Tuesdays. And I'm starting off today with a writing doozie: research.

Though I'm no research guru, I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm about to become one... My sixth book (my first book for my new publisher, Simon & Schuster), is very loosely based on a true story. And this story is going to require a lot of me, both intellectually and emotionally. So, where to begin? The task seems daunting to say the least.

After speaking to other authors, attending seminars at writing conferences, and perusing books on the subject, I've come up with my own three-step approach to research. Take it for what it's worth, or use it and modify it to fit your specific needs! I believe research is a vital, necessary part of any good book (even if only minimal research is needed), and I'm convinced a story that has been eagerly investigated, studied, and explored will be much richer and filled with nuance and meaning. Come on, how many of you have read a poorly researched book and rolled your eyes at the author's obvious lack of knowledge on the subject? It's almost embarrassing. Anyway, as I face the seemingly insurmountable task of becoming an expert on Alaska, flying a bush plane, grieving the loss of a spouse, and falling in love again, these are the guidelines I'll be using for my research.

1. Live it.
Ever heard the expression "write what you know"? Although I don't buy that wholesale, I do think it contains valuble advice. I once read a book by a man in which he described in detail the process of childbirth through the eyes a woman. 'Scuse me? It just didn't ring true. My rule is, whenever possible, do yourself the favor of writing about things that you know intimately.

To that end, I'm on my way to Alaska! The tickets are booked, the interviews are lined up, and yup, I'm going to put my life in the hands of a real, live Alaskan bush pilot. Though I have to stay below 6,000 feet because of the baby, I'm really excited. But some people have asked me why I feel the need to fly across the continent for research... To me, it's a no-brainer. How can I capture the essence of Alaska (the scent of the air, the height of the trees, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore) if I've never been there? How can I explain what it's like to fly in a bush plane over the mountains if I've never done that? I can't. At least, not convincingly. Thus, off to Anchorage I go.

2. Experience it vicariously.
Can't fly to Alaska? Or grieve the death of your spouse (I certainly hope not), or know what it feels like to have a disabled child? I believe that if you can't manufacture an experience, the next-best thing you could do is spend time with someone who has lived it. Get yourself a primary resource, someone whose insight and knowledge can give your characters depth and meaning.

I might be going up in a bush plane, but that certainly doesn't make me a pilot. Since I know absolutely nothing about what it takes to fly in the wilds of Alaska, I have "interviews" (i.e. long talks over pints of beer--for them, not me) scheduled with pilots and other Alaskan natives. I am looking forward to these interactions so much! I can't wait to glean wisdom from these amazing people.

3. Learn about it.
I think this is the first place that many people look for information, and though I'm as happy as anyone about the amount of data at my fingertips thanks to the wonders of the World-Wide Web, I'm disappointed in our unswerving reliance on it. Wikipedia seems to have replaced experience. Why ask an expert (i.e. talk to a real person) when I can Google it? Boo. And yet, sometimes you do need to research the traditional way by hitting the books (or the keys).

Between the flying, the interviews, and the all-around Alaska experience, I will also be spending some time at the Loussac Library in Anchorage. Apparently, they have an entire wing dedicated to Alaskan heritage and folklore--including journals and historical documents. I get chills just thinking about it.

Well, that's my master plan. I know I'll hardly be an expert by the end of my short trip, but I hope to garner enough knowledge and experience to give my book the authentic feel that I believe it needs. And don't worry, I promise to take tons of pictures and post all about my time in the great white north. :)

Your turn: Do you think research is important? Have you ever read a poorly researched book and known that the author was full of it? What about if you write...? How do you research? Do you consider it important? Or am I expecting too much of myself (and other writers)?

Method to the Madness

2010-03-29T14:56:00.000-05:00

So I've been blogging for almost three years now. THREE YEARS. Wow. The time has flown. Anyway, it struck me lately that in all the blog posts I've written (353 if the Blogger count is correct), I've practically covered the entire human experience. Yes, this blog is about my writing and publishing career. But it's also about my life, my kids, my husband, my fears, my favorite recipes, books I love, the weather... you name it. I've shared with you the pain of my fourth miscarriage, my triumphs (and shortcomings) as a mother, my literary successes (and failures), and even funny things my boys have said.

Well. What else is there to say? Haven't I covered it all? Is it time to say sayonara to my bloggity-blog career?

I don't think so... At least, not yet. It doesn't interfere with my writing, and I actually enjoy the outlet I've found (and, more importantly, the friends I've found) online. So, after thinking and praying about it for the last couple of weeks, I've decided that I am going to commit myself to at least one more year of blogging. However, I am going to prescribe a little method to my madness. It's time I had a bit more direction, I think.

Nothing really is going to change, but I am planning on sticking to a regular schedule. Hopefully this will keep me organized, and help you find and read the posts that interest you. Without further ado, my new weekly timetable:

Tuesdays - Writing/Publishing
Since Mondays are a crazy day for me, I'll begin my blogging week on Tuesday with a post about writing. This may include snippets of books I'm working on, answers to questions from my readers, writing tips and advice, or anything else related to the wonderful world of penning novels.

Thursdays - Personal
A few months ago I asked what you (my lovely readers) wanted to see more of in my blog. I was surprised by the number of people who wrote that they liked the personal stories. Well, you asked for it. On Thursdays I'll keep it intimate by blogging about my world. My kids, my life, my struggles... whatever is hitting me that week.

Saturdays - Just for Fun
To edify your weekend, I'll post something fun on Saturday. A recipe, a great link, an interview with a fellow author or friend, or anything that strikes my fancy. If I have a giveaway (and I have more of those on the docket!), it'll be posted on Saturday.

There you have it. A little order from chaos. Doesn't that feel good?

Any-hoo, stay tuned for the inaugural week of my new, orderly blogging schedule. I'm actually going to take the rest of this week off as it is Holy Week, one of my favorite weeks of the year. I want to soak in the whole experience... From our inspiring church service yesterday, to a candlelight Maundy Thursday service, all the way through Easter morning. Wow. I get chills just thinking about it. Aaron challenged our church to fast on Thursday in preparation for the Lord's Supper, but as the little baby inside happens to like food I don't think I'll be participating in that... But I will make the day special all the same.

As I leave you this week, I can't help wondering... Do you do anything special for Holy Week? Any family traditions or personal dedications that you revisit every year? Did you give something up for Lent? I'd love to hear...

Have a Blessed Easter.

Discovery

2010-03-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

Last summer, Aaron and I took our boys on a mini-vacation. We went to Omaha, Nebraska for a weekend of fun, and scheduled our days to the max with visits to the zoo, the children's museum, and afternoons at the hotel waterpark. Have you ever taken small children on vacation? Our weekend of fun wasn't quite as fun as we'd hoped...

There were tears at the zoo. We only made it through a few exhibits before complete meltdown. And the hotel waterpark was sadly subpar. Blessedly, we missed the kid-puking-in-the-pool incident by minutes. Guess what? We never even made it to the children's museum. The parking lot was overflowing with cars and the line to get in was enough to deter us completely.

Our vacation was a total bust. Until we took a random detour through a state park on the way home.

After days of trying to manufacture fun, we slowed down enough to enjoy each moment as it came. In the car on the way to the park welcome center, we spotted twin fawns in a field of flowers. When we stopped the van, they came right up to our windows before bounding away over the windswept grass. Then we stumbled upon a century-old mystery when we realized that the state park was the burial ground of a sunken steamboat that went undiscovered for almost a hundred years. Finally, the lovely ranger at the welcome center outfitted the boys with backpacks for their own adventure in exploration. We spent the rest of the day reveling in unexpected discoveries. The little gray frog we found turned out to be infinitely more interesting than the Siberian tiger at the zoo.

I've been thinking a lot about that vacation lately. Partly because it contains so many sweet memories (yes, even the zoo meltdown had it's own special charm). But mostly I think I'm still learning from our summer experience. And applying it to my writing (and the rest of my life) these days...

I believe I spend way too much time trying to manufacture my books. I micro-manage my stories, telling my characters what is supposed to happen instead of allowing them to reveal themselves and their experiences to me. I set unrealistic goals and deadlines, then get frustrated and disappointed when I find myself unable to live up to my own expectations. I force things to happen instead of letting them unfold. In short, I hinder the entire process of discovery.

Granted, I have deadlines to meet and contracts to fulfill. I can't take five years to write a book. Nor do I want to. But I wonder what would happen if I'd let go a little... You know, live in the moment, take a wrong turn, slow down to enjoy the scenery instead of speeding past at mach 3. I think I'd write better books. And I think I'd spend a lot more days reveling in unexpected discoveries.

How about you? Are you a planner, a plotter, the sort of person who speeds on by? Or are you open to discovery? To unanticipated (and unplanned) moments?

Imaginary Castles

2010-03-25T08:00:00.002-05:00

From my third Julia book:

Alone in the golf course parking lot, I raised my palms to the sky and watched snowflakes collect on my mittens. The crystals fell in arabesque patterns, gathering in concert to rise like fairytale castles from the dark contours of my palms. They were all the same, I decided. Castles made of sand and snow. They were pretty, but they didn’t last. They never did.

I knew it was a matter of the heart. That this careful construction of imaginary landscapes was a wild, secret thing. Days like today were a sanctuary, a magical world where anything seemed possible but nothing truly was. As I watched the turrets slowly take shape in my hands, I realized that we did this to ourselves. Our searching souls pursued happy endings. And the heart was capable of great and deceiving beauty.

*Copyright: Nicole Baart, 2010

Your turn: Are you working on something right now? A novel, a poem, a simple reflection? Care to share? I'd love to hear a paragraph or even a line... I find the work of my friends inspiring!

What's in a name?

2010-03-23T21:06:00.000-05:00

I'm six weeks away from the deadline for my third Julia book. This is my fourth novel for Tyndale House Publishing, my fifth completed manuscript, and my last CBA offering for a while... Yikes. Somehow this little tome feels important to me.

Can I just say I'm loving this book? It's so much fun to write, and I'm soaking up my final Julia moments. After this, her story is officially over. That makes me sad. And happy. It's bittersweet, I suppose.

Believe it or not, the hardest part of writing this book has been teasing a title out of the pages. Names are so important to me. I can't stand titles that are cheesy, obvious, self-important, or copycats. And I won't even pick up a book if the title is boring, predictable, or cliche. But give me a good title and I'll buy the book just to have it sit on my shelf. It's got to be gripping, evocative, or beautiful in some way. It has to surprise me, to make me stand up and pay attention.

Some titles I love are:

The Inheritance of Loss (Kiran Desai)
My Hands Came Away Red (Lisa McKay)
All Unquiet Things (Anna Jarzab)
The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy)
Cutting for Stone (Abraham Verghese)
Away (Amy Bloom)

You can use your imaginations to come up with titles I hate. My mom used to tell me that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. So this time I'll keep my opinions to myself. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, all of this title agony has got me thinking about names. Naming a child and naming a book are similar endeavors, you know. And just like my boys' names are rich with meaning, history, and family significance, I want my titles to be thick with layers--a riddle to be solved in their own right. So far, all of my titles have had several different meanings. Some of which were revealed to me by readers after the fact! How cool is that?

But I digress. I can't really ask y'all for help since you haven't read the book. Nor am I quite at the point where I can run sample titles by you. And yet, I do have some questions... Humor me--I'm going nuts here! ;)

What are some titles you love?
If you write, how do you come up with your titles?
Are titles even important to you? Or do I have an unusual name fixation???

Things that made me smile this week...

2010-03-20T08:00:00.001-05:00

Chocolate Cheerios. My new addiction.

Estee Lauder's Bronze Goddess perfume. Honestly, it smells so yummy I think I could eat it.

Sunshine, new shoots, bumblebees (yes, I saw one with my own eyes), and puddles for jumping.

I love spring!

Parenthood, the new TV show. So funny and real and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Painting my toenails shell pink so that I can wear sandals for the first time in months.

The Help, by Kathryn Stockett. Haven't read it yet? Get thee to a bookstore!

Buying my first baby thing: a onesie that says, "I love my mommy."

Your comments on my "news" posts. THANK YOU. :)

* * *

Your turn: What made you smile this week?

More News...

2010-03-18T08:00:00.012-05:00

I had my 21 week ultrasound last week. What an awesome, awe-inspiring experience. Though I had ultrasounds with the babies I lost, I haven't seen a baby this big, this perfect and whole since I saw my oldest son on the ultrasound machine seven years ago. Yup, the last time I carried a babe this far was seven years ago. No wonder I feel like an old woman this time around--I am one!

While I'm beyond ecstatic to tell you that the baby is healthy and well, I did have some bummer news at the appointment. I've been having contractions, and my peri is making me limit my activity. Boo. No more working out for me, and I especially have to avoid pilates or any core work. I'm a little blue because I loved staying active in my first pregnancy. I felt like it helped me prepare for labor, and made my recovery quicker after the baby was born. But, of course, I'm being a good girl... This baby means more to me than a few months of exercise! Besides, I can still walk.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a real, live picture of the wee one. Yikes. Wish I was that flexible. ;)

And here is one of pregnant me taken yesterday. Twenty-two weeks! Over halfway there... Too bad I'm standing in front of a dark chair. The baby bump is kind of hidden. Oh well, I'll post more when I'm huge and beached whale-ish. ;)

Big News!

2010-03-15T20:03:00.001-05:00

I had such a great week off. It's amazing how a little break from blogging can be so refreshing! I suppose it's like anything--life in moderation.

Anyway, I get to start off my week back with some news! Finally. I've had things in the works for ages it seems, but I'm just now able to share. Thank you for your patience as I was so secretive about my upcoming books...

As many of you know, last year I was working on a book called Sleeping in Eden. I shared some brief sections of the book with you, kept you updated throughout the writing process, and told you all about my two protagonists Lucas and Meg. I'm really excited about this book, but I'm sorry to say that it will not be releasing this spring as planned. The publishing world is complicated, surprising, and sometimes unpredictable--something I'm beginning to learn more and more! At any rate, after the book was complete, my publisher and I realized we had some creative differences. Since the disparity seemed insurmountable, I was given back the rights to Sleeping in Eden, and contracted to write my third and final Julia book. It was a difficult experience at the time, but, as always, God knows what he's doing!

Through the past four years, I have been very blessed to work with such a wonderful publishing house. Tyndale has been so patient and understanding with this rookie author, and I have nothing but admiration and respect for everyone I've worked with. They made my dreams come true! I will always hold Tyndale in the highest regard, and I hope that my final Julia book is not my final book with this top-notch publisher.

As for Sleeping in Eden, I'm happy to say that this special book has found a home! Though it will not be releasing as planned, I'm thrilled to announce that Simon & Schuster has acquired the rights to Sleeping in Eden, a new book I'm working on called Far from Here, and a third, untitled book. Remember how I said that the publishing world is unpredictable? Well, as it turns out, Sleeping in Eden (even though it's a finished manuscript) will be my second S&S book. The first book is the one I'm working on now, a manuscript that will require a trip to Alaska (yup, I'm so excited!), flying lessons (but not until after the baby is born--apparently you aren't allowed in un-pressurized cabins during pregnancy), and lots of blood, sweat, and tears (but don't they all?). Wow. I'm still getting my head around it all. And I'm eager to see where this new path will take me.

Whew. What a wild ride. Thanks so much for your comments, emails, thoughts, and even prayers over the last few years (or even just weeks!). This entire experience has been the stuff of dreams, and I'm so grateful that even though there have already been bumps in the road, God has seen fit to let me continue to write. I'm sorry that I won't have a book releasing in 2010... But I hope that you'll stick with me for more of this journey! My third Julia book will come out in less than a year (tentative pub date of February 2011) from Tyndale House, and then Far From Here and Sleeping in Eden will follow soon from Simon & Schuster. Yikes. I'd better get writing... ;)

Break

2010-03-09T11:53:00.000-06:00

I spent the weekend plotting the last few chapters of my third and final Julia book. I'm so thrilled about where her story is going, and I can't wait to share it with you! Lots of exciting (and unexpected) stuff. :)

Anyway, as I near the end, I need to spend some time focusing on the book. I'm going to take a little break from blogging for the next week or so... My creative energies need to flow toward Julia, not my blog. In fact, I may very well lock myself away in a room and not come out until it's done! Wait... that would leave my little ones to fend for themselves. M&Ms do not an appropriate meal make. Better rethink the padlocked door, I guess.

Locked door or not, here's hoping I get a lot done! And in the interim, here are a couple of fun things for you to do with the time you would normally spend reading my posts.

-Give yourself a mini-manicure. Sprinkle a little teaspoon of sugar into a dollop of your regular handsoap. Scrub gently for a couple minutes. Rinse completely. File your nails, push back your cuticles, and finish with a yummy handcream. I love pretty hands!

-Read one section (up to the nearest break, not necessarily the end of the chapter) in the book you're currently reading. I treat myself to mini reading sessions all day long. It raises my spirits and reminds me that I'm more than just a short order cook, carpool driver, and owie kisser.

-Pray for someone. Sit still for a minute and ask God to bring someone to mind. Believe me, he will! Spend a few moments praying for that person and his or her family.

-Call your grandmother. Come on, when is the last time you talked to that amazing woman? It'll make her day--and yours too.

-Run up and down your stairs. If you have a staircase, put it to good use. Run up and down until you're panting and your legs feel like they're going to fall off. It's a great way to blast some calories in the middle of the day and wake up your groggy mind!

-Write an encouraging email. Since you're on the computer anyway, take a few minutes to send someone (anyone!) a quick email letting them know that you appreciate them. Sweet notes for no reason are like finding dark chocolate in your cupboard.

-Leave your spouse a message on his voicemail. It can be "I'm thinking of you," "I love you," or something else entirely. You know what I mean. ;) It'll make his day.

-Close your eyes. Sit back for five minutes and try to still yourself. Sometimes we run, run, run all day long and never take a second to just breathe. Don't spend more time on Facebook. Turn off the computer and allow yourself to be alone for a couple minutes with your thoughts. It's so refreshing.

Hope those ideas give you something to do! I'll be back in a while... In the meantime, blessings to you wherever you are and whatever you do.

Warmly,
Nicole

Kid Chaos Theory

2010-03-05T19:53:00.000-06:00

My oldest son has his last hockey tournament of the season this weekend. Since it's in a town that's over an hour away, my husband (who is also the Mini-Mite team coach) graciously offered to take the boys (both of them!) and spend the night in a hotel. What am I supposed to do in the house all by myself? Write. Boo. Don't get me wrong, I love writing. But I LOVE spending time with my boys.

All the same, tonight I buckled down and got lots done. My dangling carrot? The opportunity to join them tomorow for the last two games and an extra night in a hotel with a swim park. Yippee! Life with kids is so much fun...

That is, until you realize that all children abide by the chaos theory. You won't find this definition in a book, but I'm convinced it's real. And it goes something like this: any child (of any age, race, background, or persuasion), when confronted with a situation that is new, unexpected, bewildering, exciting, or unprecedented, will inevitably lose control of their sweet little minds/bodies/senses/emotions and (either intentionally or unintentionally) make their parents crazy by thinking/saying/doing things that they would not normally think/say/do. Any parents out there agree with me?

I think Aaron (my poor, poor hubby) is a firm believer in our kid chaos theory tonight...

After swimming (i.e. half-drowning) in the pool for a couple of hours this afternoon, Aaron got the boys ready for the hockey game and took them out for supper. Their conversation (as relayed to me):

Eldest: I don't feel so good.

Aaron: It's probably because you're hungry.

Eldest: No, my tummy really hurts.

Aaron: I bet it's because you drank too much pool water.

Eldest: Gagging...

Aaron: Realizing that this is serious... Come on! We gotta get to the bathroom!

Eldest: I can't make it to the bathroom!

Aaron grabs our son and ushers him out the door where he throws up in the snow as diners stream into the restaurant. Shockingly, no one goes back to their cars and leaves. I would have.

Aaron: Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry. Let's go get you cleaned up. Wait a sec--where's your brother???

Aaron rushes our eldest to the bathroom and leaves him there while he hurries back to the table to find our youngest son (who just so happens to be three). The little one is gone. Running around the restaurant like a crazy person, Aaron hunts for said little one until someone points out that there is an adorable boy wandering around the parking lot. Turns out, he's ours. He was just looking for his daddy and brother.

Safely back at the hotel...

Aaron: Guess we'd better go home, huh? Mommy will take good care of you...

Eldest: Are you kidding? I have a hockey game to play!

Aaron: But you're sick!

Eldest: I have to play. I'm Canadian.

Since Aaron was the coach, he agreed to at least give the game a try. Our son got suited up and hit the ice full-tilt. He scored two goals, assisted in three more, and all around played his little heart out.

All while I lounged on the couch under a blanket trying to spin a pretty phrase...

Remind me never to take my kids anywhere by myself.

10 things I bet you don't know about me...

2010-03-04T08:00:00.001-06:00

1. I hate pop. Always have, always will. When I was a kid the carbonation hurt my nose, and now that I'm grown and can handle a little fizz, I hate the syrupy, sugary taste. Gross!

2. I was a late bloomer (to put it nicely). My pre-teen and teen years were a nightmare of chicken legs, coke-bottle glasses, buck teeth, and painful timidity. I'm no ugly duckling turned beautiful swan, but it is nice to have settled into myself. Though I do still feel like that awkward little girl sometimes.

3. I love rollercoasters.

4. I'm addicted to brushing my teeth. I have a professional grade SonicCare toothbrush and the Clean setting is not enough for me. I have to use it twice.

5. I skipped second grade.

6. My lifelong dream was to be published by the age of 30. I realized my dream with a little over a month to spare.

7. I can't cut my hair. When I was that gangly thirteen-year-old, I believed my only beauty was my hair. I have a strange attachment to it...

8. When I was little I longed to be a nun. I think The Sound of Music may have fueled that ridiculous dream. :)

9. My grandfather was in the cavalry in WWII. He trained horses, and so did my dad. I grew up around Arabians, and harbor the not-so-secret desire to own land and a few horses someday. Ironically, my husband is terrified of horses.

10. I almost flunked Chemistry 103 in college. Well, I failed every test but got A's on every lab. It worked out to a pretty solid C, but I realized that my hope of becoming a large animal veterinarian was probably a pipe dream.

Your turn! Tell me something I don't know about you... :)

The End

2010-03-02T08:00:00.001-06:00

No, not the end of my blog, or even the end of the book that I'm working on. Instead, I'm writing about how it happens, that all-important, make-it-or-break-it novel ending. Yesterday Lauren asked: Whenever you write, at what point in the writing process do you know the way your story will end? Before you begin writing? After your first draft?

It's a great question, and yet it's one of those inquiries that is very hard to answer...

When I started writing After the Leaves Fall, I had no idea where the book was going, much less how it was going to end. The story literally unfolded chapter by chapter, until Julia's final step seemed inevitable. It was a really fun way to write because I felt like I was uncovering the tale much like a reader would--through a slow process of discovery.

Summer Snow was different because I knew that there were two possible endings. The only problem was, I didn't know which one it should be. I was incredibly conflicted, and struggled with the outcome until I wrote the final chapters. I'm happy with the choice I made--and I think that it's true to Julia's character--but some readers were disappointed that Julia decided to do what she did. She's been called "selfish" and "immature," but I believe, heart and soul, that she made the choice that was right for her.

And just wait until you read the third installment of Julia's story! It's another surprise ending (and another two-pronged dilemma), and I'm sure some readers will love it and others will think Julia has made another mistake. But I think that's half the fun. Oh, and FYI, I'm nearly done with this book and I'm still wondering how it will all turn out!

Okay, so it seems like I fly by the seat of my pants when I write. But I said this is a hard question to answer... and it is because when it came to The Moment Between, I knew the ending before I wrote the first sentence. How backwards is that? I'm not sure why I wrote that book differently, but I can say that the whole thing unfolded in my mind in a single night. And it was by far my most complicated plot, involving a three-tiered narrative and an interwoven timeline. Go figure.

Sorry I can't leave you with a pat, easy answer, but I think that stories reveal themselves in a myriad of different ways. Some people will try to tell you that you need to know where you're going if you want to write a book, and though I see the wisdom in that (for query reasons, and submissions to publishers, agents, etc.), I don't believe that you have to have everything figured out. It's an adventure, and it should be.

Your turn: Do stories come gift-wrapped (and complete!) to you? Or do you have to seek out answers like clues on a scavenger hunt?

Getting to know you...

2010-02-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

I've only ever "met" most of you online, and even if we never get to see each other face to face, I'd love to learn a bit more about you! Take a minute to answer the following one-liners. (My answers are in italics.)

1. Coffee or tea? Coffee.

2. Indoors or outside? Outside.

3. Hot or cold? Hot.

4. Hugs or kisses? Kisses.

5. Morning or night? Morning.

6. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction.

You can learn a lot about someone from just a few words! Did you get this from my answers? I'm a morning-lover (though my mornings don't begin before 6:30) who starts each day with a hot cup of dark roast, fair-trade Ethiopian coffee. I'd rather be outside in nearly any weather, and insist on having windows open (at least a crack!) even in the dead of winter. I like my summers hot, my food hot, and my coffee has to be, you guessed it, hot. Though I love to fold my boys in a hug, I can't keep my lips off of them to save my life. I'll kiss anything that comes my way, including but not limited to: extremities, fingers and toes, ears, foreheads, exposed necks, elbows, and even cheeks if I'm lucky enough to catch one. When the little ones are in bed, there's nothing I love to do more than read. And you're not likely to find non-fiction on my nightstand. I like stories. Even the non-fiction books I read are usually filled with story... Blue Like Jazz, Jesus for President, The Furious Longing of God, Velvet Elvis, Counterfeit Gods, you get the drift.

Your turn! What can I learn about you? :)

Quicken

2010-02-25T08:00:00.002-06:00

Though there are many things that I love about being pregnant (and some things I'm not so fond of), there is one special side effect that thrills me above all others: fetal movement. I'm twenty weeks now, and for the last half month or so my baby's kicks have gotten more and more regular and pronounced. I woke up this morning to a tap dance, and even as I write I can feel my little one exploring her tiny world. I still have serious panic attacks about this pregnancy and our fragile babe, but feeling those gentle nudgings helps. Thank you, Lord, for small miracles.

I was enjoying my last pregnancy this morning, and it struck me that I wrote an entire passage on "the quickening." A box of Summer Snow resides in my office closet, so I grabbed myself a copy and read the chapter entitled Quicken. Thought I'd share this morning.

From Summer Snow:

I felt the baby move for the first time on an unseasonably warm morning in the middle of April.

At first I didn’t realize what was happening. There was a flutter in my abdomen, a feeling like falling from a great height. A dip and turn deep inside me that caused me to reach out and grab the porch railing as if Iowa had just experienced the tremors of some far-flung, coastal earthquake and I needed to ground myself. I stayed there, splinters of peeling paint digging into the soft palms of my hands, and thought, We really need to put a new coat on the porch this summer.

And then it happened again. There was the faintest, cosmic beat of hummingbird wings at the very center of my being. This time, steadied by the thick cedar rail and quiet in my thoughts, I knew what it was.

I held my breath and waited to feel her once more. She didn’t disappoint, and a grin burst across my face to match the sunrise that I had witnessed only moments earlier. I laughed out loud and pressed my hands to my stomach, hoping to feel her there. Awed that she had finally made herself known to me.

I was twenty-two weeks along, give or take, and Dr. Morales had expressed only mild concern that it seemed to be taking so long for me to become aware of the child growing inside. However, I wasn’t worried. Grandma had bought me What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and it suggested that eighteen to twenty-four weeks was a perfectly acceptable timeframe in which to experience “the quickening.”

The quickening. I was dubious upon reading it, confused at first because I didn’t know what it meant and then downright skeptical because it seemed such a portentous title for something that was surely rather small and routine. But when she first twirled circles inside me, I understood that her inaugural movements were anything but small and decidedly not routine. She introduced herself to me with all the eloquence of a rehearsed speech, all the passion of a lover’s embrace. Surely the earth itself must have paused in its orbit to acknowledge the celestial movement at my core.

Suddenly, I very fully appreciated that there could not be a more perfect term for what I had just experienced than quickening. My breath quickened; my pulse quickened. My fingertips hummed with significance. Even the very life that coursed through me accelerated abruptly toward some distant goal and blurred forward with new meaning and purpose. It was indescribably exhilarating.

And it was the perfect morning for such a momentous event. The horizon was filled with the growing bands of a golden-peach sunrise, like a slice of fresh nectarine with the honeyed sun a glistening pit at its center. The earth below was yielding and warm; a green tractor across the field from where I stood dug a silver disc across its fertile surface and made hillocks and furrows of the rich, soggy dirt. Best of all, the scent in the air was of spring and newness. Everything seemed crisp and clean, ready for renewal.

*Copyright Nicole Baart, 2008